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Tendai Rupapa in Manicaland 

FIRST Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa’s Nharirire yeMusha programme kicked off in Manicaland yesterday to empower parents and guardians with skills to effectively watch over their families, promoting good morals and dignity. 

Nharirire is a Shona word referring to someone who plays an oversight role over families.

The programme which will cascade to all the country’s provinces, came about after children countrywide during the First Lady’s Gota/Nhanga/Ixhiba programme, voiced concern that they ended up engaging in mischief due to lack of parental guidance.

It also emerged that greedy parents were forcing their daughters into prostitution and even stealing.

Faced by rising cases of divorce and domestic violence, the Manicaland folk yesterday came up with a list of attributes expected in a dignified men and women.

The First Lady’s programmes are non-partisan and yesterday’s meeting was apolitical, allowing people of different political persuasions to participate freely.

Men and women who attended the session first met as a group where the First Lady addressed them on the objectives of Nharirire yeMusha naAmai programme.

“My aim is to discuss certain issues with mothers and fathers because watching over a home concerns both men and women. What are you doing as a person who watches over a family? Do you know what you are supposed to do? As a married woman, do you know your roles? As a man, you took your wife from her family, do you know your roles as a father/husband? Are you teaching your children proper dignified ways? 

“If you are playing your roles, why is that child doing bad things like stealing, killing, prostitution, drug abuse? Whose daughter is this who is bringing children of various totems at home? Whose son is this who is sleeping around and spoiling girls of school going age? We want to look at parents today, are you playing your role? We want the home to remain solid,” she said.

The First Lady told the gathering that the programme started in Harare where participants moulded the woman and man they wanted in the province, adding that it was now time for Manicaland to build a dignified man and woman it wanted.

“The programme will be taken to all the provinces and afterwards we shall come together and agree on the men and women we want in the country. There are qualities of a woman that will be highlighted here and if you do not possess them, strive to do so and change your ways. The same applies to men, if you do not possess the qualities then fix your character,” she said.

The First Lady said her Nharirire programme was also looking at the conduct among partners with a view to helping them improve communication.

Women take notes during the Nharirire yeMusha programme in Manicaland yesterday.

“Some of you women are giving your spouses food using your feet, kuita kukavira murume a plate of sadza, unlike what you used to do in the beginning? What will your children learn from this? 

“Divorce rates are rising, including extra marital affairs. Where did this violence and divorce come from? Children are taking drugs countrywide and this prompted us to put our heads together. Let’s self-introspect as fathers and mothers and look at our children because we want dignified people in our country,” she said.

“What is Nharirire” the First Lady asked and the responses she got included people who guard homes and what goes on there, someone who looks after the home, especially men, someone who looks after the home, especially a woman and someone who looks after and guards her valuables jealously. 

The mother of the nation described Nharirire as someone who ring-fences a family and defends it to ensure it remains a dignified home. 

The two groups later separated with the men having their own discussions while women did the same going through various topics.

Among the qualities of a model woman expected in society, discussants said she must be faithful, a backbone of the household who prepares meals for her husband and children, and above all a good communicator.

A dignified woman, they said, uses her hands, does not rely on begging and does not deny her husband his conjugal rights.

They said a model woman unites the family and dresses with dignity among other attributes.

On the other hand, the men said a model man should be bound by five pillars which include being organised, hardworking, a teacher who is also willing to learn, loving and someone with a good reputation in the society.

A good husband, it was emphasised, should not deny her wife conjugal rights and must avoid extra marital affairs. 

When they regrouped, everyone at the meeting concurred with the attributes shared for a model man and woman.

During women’s discussions, Mrs Roseflower Kufa said a good mother in a home must be approachable and able to counsel her children.

“Some children are afraid of speaking to their mother who is always moody and having issues with her husband. Spending one week while not on talking terms with the husband will also affect the kids leading to them to find solace in drugs and alcohol,” she said.

During an assessment of issues that brought tension in the home, it emerged that couples usually fought over conjugal rights and issues of extra marital affairs. 

Doctor Constance Gutuza said mobile phones were also breaking families apart.

“Phones are breaking families apart. When men return from work, they will be on their phones as the mother does the same on WhatsApp groups while children will be on social media. Who will teach the children when people who should be playing the oversight role will be spending more time on their mobile phones,” she said.

Pastor Eunice Muhiwa said women were partly to blame for the breaking up of marriages.

“You will see a wife who does not respect her husband at home doing the opposite to her pastor. You will see her kneeling down for her pastor when at home she is giving her husband food while standing. This is wrong. Let us love our husbands and I am sure they will also love us back,” she said.

Mrs Elizabeth Muusha said; “There is dressing which is ideal for outings with your spouse and for the public and dressing expected of a married woman,” she said.

She also spoke about personal hygiene saying bathing habits should remain consistent adding that women should not cease bathing as this would lead men to have extra marital affairs.

Chief Makoni, Mr Cogen Makoni, added his voice to the men’s discussion, saying; “This issue concerning men is instructive. If you are a man without love, you are a devil. Satisfy your wife in the home which is the first love. A man must have dignity for him to be able to teach his children good morals,” he said.

Chief Maumbe, Mr Shepard Chengeta added his voice saying a good father must have vision.

Men follow proceedings during the launch of Nharirire yeMusha in Manicaland yesterday.

“Also communication between a husband and wife is key. If a house has no communication, there will always be squabbles in the home. As husbands, we have a huge role to play in the house making sure that the family is well looked after. We must know how to speak to our wives and children,” he said.

Mr Silvester Chowa said the First Lady’s programme could not have come at any better time as both children and the parents were doing morally reprehensive things which are against the culture.

Manicaland Minister of State for Provincial Affairs and Devolution, Nokhuthula Matsikenyere praised the First Lady for coming up with well-though-out programmes that benefit the nation.

“Your zeal to improve the lives of the people of Zimbabwe and ensure that families live in peace and harmony is so amazing. You always come up with inspiring programmes and this Nharirire yeMusha programme will go a long way in restoring order in our families,” she said.

The programme was held in strict adherence to Covid-19 protocols of masking up, washing hands and maintaining social distance.