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Tafadzwa Zimoyo —
When it comes to weddings, the biggest dream in any little girl’s mind is definitely what her own wedding will look like. A wedding is fun and the good part is that if you are in the bridal team, you will have the privilege of enjoying benefits of being a VIP.

But not many still have that privilege, especially when it comes with a cost. Members of most bridal teams have to part with a couple hundred dollars for buying the required outfits and the accessories needed on wedding day.

Being in the bridal team requires much more than being a close confidante, a former high school friend, or a church mate. One needs to match the relations with a sound pocket.

One Helensvale lady identified as, Mellisa Boka was honoured to be part of the bridal team for her friend’s wedding. Every weekend she would meet up with friends, practise the choreography affectionately known as “steps” and intermittently enjoying orange juice.

Were it not for love and respect for her friend, she would have instead just chilled, enjoying the wedding and cakes. But her joy was short lived after she discovered that she had to contribute towards the kitchen party and obviously break the bank to buy all the necessary wanted designer garment and accessories.

This also included the hairstyle and manicure. Now six months later, Boka is now playing truant with the lady who brought her the dress from Malaysia.

Boka represents hundreds of Zimbabweans who have paid the cost of being a bridesmaid or groomsman. It’s a bitter-sweet experience because one feels honoured but you have to part with a few dollars for wedding regalia.

Moreover, the bride and groom usually dictate the colour and quality of the attire disregarding your income and biting economy. Gone are the days when many would beg to be in the bridal team and the good part because owners of the wedding paid for all the expenses.

They could buy you a suit, shoes and have one barber doing your hair. Nowadays, being a bridesmaid at the wedding of a close friend or family member can take a toll on your budget.

Saturday Herald Lifestyle caught up with some of the ex-bridal team and upcoming bridesmaids who shared their experiences and roles in the wedding. Most agreed that it is now costly to be part of the wedding but the bond you may be having with the bride or groom pushes you to sacrifice.

Friends now have to sacrifice, while a few close relatives of the bride and groom still enjoy the freebies, because of their social standing with the duo. Should the bridal team contribute towards the outcome of the wedding by purchasing their own regalia, or they should just watch from the terraces?

Should they really be a bridal team if the wedding couple cannot cater for their apparel? Tendai Mubvumbi of Waterfalls said being a bridesmaid usually requires dedication and sacrifice for at least three months on separate occasions to events related to the big day.

Some of these events include the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, wedding and the reception itself. Mubvumbi who last was a bridesmaid in October said it was fun but costly as if you were planning your own wedding.

“Being a bridesmaid and attending these weekend events may mean taking time off from work early or even using vacation time if you have to travel a long distance.

“It is a real honour and an experience that you’ll remember sharing with the bride forever.

“However I had to dig deeper in my pocket to ensure that the wedding was a success.

“I spent about $450 for all my expenses because of the requirements,” she said.

Mubvumbi said she learnt that you had to minimise your expenditure to ensure that you enjoy being a bridesmaid rather than count your losses.

“One thing that buzzed me off was being asked to fork out $45 for make-up,” she said.

Tarisai Zvobgo (26), a bridesmaid who is planning to wed in March next year said she had already starting saving.

“This is a fact now that the honour comes with a huge wage bill. Being a bridesmaid requires a lot of purchases related to your appearance on the big day.

“Most bridesmaids are responsible for purchasing their own dress, shoes, jewellery, hair, and makeup. Unfortunately, even though the bridesmaids usually have to foot the bill for these purchases, they typically don’t have a lot of say in how much money that will add up to.

“The bride generally has control over picking the dress, shoes, jewellery, and hairstyle for her bridesmaids, and just because you have your bottom line in mind doesn’t mean the bride does,” she said.

She added that the challenge now was on the desired attire by the bride.

“I agree and respect that it is her wedding, but they usually forget that the selected dresses will have a burden on us as we will not have anywhere to wear them unless if its hired.

“I am lucky, on this wedding I am maid of honour as we are getting our hair and makeup done by a professional courtesy of the bride as a gift to her maids, which can help cut down on the cost of being part of the bridal team,” she said.

Likewise, a recent trend in weddings is allowing the bridesmaids to pick their own style of dress as long as they are all the same colour.

This trend allows bridesmaids to show off their personal style, dress for their body type, and keep their budget in mind when they choose a dress style.

Another large part of the cost of being a bridesmaid is the travel expenses. If the wedding you are in is local or nearby, this may not be a huge expense.

For bridesmaids who live across the country from the wedding location, travel costs can be a big investment of time and money, not only in airfare, but also in hotel costs.

“Bridesmaids are also usually expected to attend events like bridal showers and bachelorette parties which will also require travel, and probably an overnight stay for those who don’t live locally, including the costs for going to rehearsals.”

The travel cost of these events could be lessened if they were to take place in the same city during the same weekend. One exception to bridesmaids having to pay for their own travel costs is when a bride chooses to have a destination wedding.

“Most of the time, the bride, or her parents, will pay for at least part of the travel costs for the wedding party to attend a destination wedding,” said Chloe Narote, a lifestyle coach and events planner.

Naro who is based in Arundel said people should adjust and move with times.

“Those who are rich can choose to have a destination for the bachelorette party like in Cape Town or Zanzibar and, this is solely on the shoulders of the bridesmaids to pay for themselves to attend.

“For those from downtown the bill is still the same because whatever the case, one has to follow them and it becomes costly for them too. Not attending a bachelorette party while you are a bridesmaid is unheard of. Zvinonyadzisa wangu,” she said.

It would also be myopic to rule out the groomsmen, as they too have to fork out for the designer suits, shoes, cufflinks, bowtie and waistcoat or watches depending on what the groom wants.

But generally it is not much of an expense to men, because they normally have a suit of a sober colour stashed up in the wardrobe for an unexpected occasion.

But should there be serious need to buy a suit, groomsmen usually require about $300 in total while for bridesmaid it is more than $500.