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Laina Makuzha LOVE by DESIGN

Do you ever feel like you just want the holidays to move by quickly so you can get back to business? 

Do you feel overwhelmed by the chit-chat of neighbours as they prepare and worry over their holiday plans? 

Do you just wish you wouldn’t have to travel and visit or host groups of visitors and prefer a quiet time? 

Sounds a little antisocial? 

Not necessarily. 

Experts say these are some of the traits of introverts.

Perhaps you are an introvert, and all the people, gatherings, and loud merry-making drains you and you just want to have a quiet, peaceful time. 

It is normal and I can relate. It could be that you are married to one, or dating one and may feel as though they are deliberately not available to you during these holidays. If that’s your reality, it might help to try to understand how an introvert processes social interactions; and to find a way to balance your needs and your partner’s. 

Understanding introverts

Experts say generally introverts are individuals who tend to recharge their energy by spending time alone. They are introspective, and thoughtful, and may feel overwhelmed in social situations that require constant interaction. 

Contrary to popular belief though, introversion is not synonymous with shyness, rudeness, or disinterest in others. Instead, introverts typically thrive in quieter, more relaxed settings, where they can engage in meaningful conversations and activities of their choice.

Susan Cain, author of “Quiet: ‘The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” defines introverts as: “… those who prefer quieter, less stimulating environments. They recharge their energy by having alone time and deep reflection.” 

Author Marti Olsen Laney, in “The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World,” says: “Introverts are individuals who tend to focus inwardly, seeking meaning and purpose in their thoughts and feelings. They thrive in solitude and engage in introspection to understand themselves better.” Does this describe you, your partner, or anyone you know? 

The overwhelming holiday emphasis on socialising, parties, and constant interaction can leave introverts feeling drained and mentally exhausted. They may struggle to find their place amidst the loud festivities and extroverted clamour. As a result, they may appear distant or uninterested, leading others to perceive them as antisocial wrongly.

For introverts, socialising during the Christmas holidays can be a delicate balancing act. While the desire for solitude and reflection remains strong, they also value meaningful connections and festive experiences. Introverts typically prefer engaging in deeper conversations, one-on-one interactions, and participating in activities that align with their interests. Recognising and respecting their need for personal space and quiet moments to recharge is crucial.

 Strategies that can help make the holidays more enjoyable

Being an introvert is not a flaw or hindrance. To ensure introverts feel comfortable and included during the holidays, it is important to create an environment that accommodates their preferences. 

Instead of pressuring introverts to participate in large gatherings or overwhelming events, consider introducing smaller, intimate gatherings where they can engage in meaningful conversations. 

Encouraging activities such as game nights, movie marathons, or enjoying nature walks can provide a delightful and relaxing experience for introverts. In the case of couples, it is vital to understand each other to serve each other better.

There’s joy in giving whether materially or giving of your time — eg volunteering your time for charity, visiting a children’s home and playing with the kids, or any old people’s home. Bring some cheer to someone who needs it and in so doing, you will experience joy too. In His days (in the flesh) on earth, we learn that Jesus “went about doing good”.

If you’re an introvert struggling to find joy during the holiday season, there are ways to make it more fulfilling. I’d always recommend plugging into fellowship, bible study, prayer, and family time, among other things. Experts say firstly, acknowledge and accept your introverted nature without feeling guilty or pressured to conform. Next, seek out activities that align with your interests, such as volunteering at a children’s home, engaging in creative arts, or exploring outdoor adventures. These opportunities can provide a sense of purpose and fulfilment while allowing them to recharge at their own pace.

You may not have to participate in social activities you do not feel comfortable being a part of, of course, but sometimes victory comes through challenging oneself to come out of one’s comfort zone. So, if you will, how about you try to pick one thing to conquer this year, just one thing?

Some may not realise some people struggle to find joy in this season, due to various factors. Let’s remember those weighed down by loneliness or the sheer weight of socialising and dealing with people. The struggle is real. And it’s important to be sensitive.   

In conclusion, introverts possess unique characteristics and perspectives that enrich society as a whole. It’s crucial to understand and appreciate their need for solitude, meaningful connections, and quieter moments. By creating a conducive environment that values and respects the preferences of introverts, even when we are not of that inclination ourselves, we can collectively truly celebrate the festive season with empathy, love, understanding, and genuine joy. 

To someone out there tempted to just sleep or hibernate right through the holidays — I get you, but how about trying something new from suggestions shared here or your ideas? You could surprise yourself and possibly even enjoy it! That’s my challenge to you as much as to myself…

However you choose to celebrate, whether with loved ones, alone, or working, you’re welcome to share the celebration ideas you had this year, experiences, family Christmas traditions, and what Christmas means to you.

May you have a Merry Christmas and blessings beyond measure in 2024.

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