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RADAR 
WE always chuckle when the opposition in Zimbabwe and their cheerleaders in the media talk about “massive” or “mega” demos ahead of planned protests or some such actions.

We know that in their little minds and heads they know that they no longer pull the crowds so headlines should scream from mountain tops, and hopefully inspire.

As a propaganda technique it is called bandwagonism: such that people would not want to be left out.

But oftentimes, it is the proverbial “gundamusaira” of following the crowds into the bush.

Some foolish fly has been recorded to have followed a corpse to the grave.

Only it is different now.

People are not fooled.

Wednesday, when the opposition staged a rally under the auspices of the National Electoral Reform Agenda, showed us that people are not that foolish though.

Billed to be the biggest rally of 2017, the NERA demo was a spectacular flop with just 200 people bothering to turn up.

It was a massive flop, a mega failure.

But the reasons are all too evident: the MDC-T led by one Morgan Tsvangirai is the real brains behind this initiative of NERA and Wednesday’s rally was an MDC-T rally with a seasoning and toppings of nonentities to back him.

With a party in decline and retreat, the numbers are not surprising at all.

That tells us about the current net worth of MDC-T and its ailing leader.

The presence of Tendai Biti and his People’s Democratic Party could have been something to write home about were it not self-evident that in light of the West having poured money into democratisation-regime change projects, coming together is a prerequisite to get a bite of the cherry.

And, boy, were Biti and Tsvangirai -otherwise incompatible fellas – not laughing all the way to the bank!

It was a massive of convenience!

Biti is known to hold strong views against Morgan Tsvangirai – and the feeling is mutual, actually!

A loud fart

Everything appeared in place: political leaders from Tsvangirai, Tendai Biti (ex-MDC secretary- general now leader of People’s Democratic Party); Didymus Mutasa (former State Security Minister and founder of Zimbabwe People First) and leaders of a number of smaller parties.

All 10 or so of them.

Pastor Evan Mawarire of #ThisFlag movement was there.

There were also civic and church leaders, including the Kariba (a border town in the north) “pastor” Patrick Mugadza who has predicted that President Mugabe will die in October – earning himself arrest in the process in a case that is still before the courts.

He led a prayer reinforcing his “prophecy”.

But the “multitudes” did not come.

For all 10 parties we heard were there, it can be deduced that, shared equally, each party brought about 20 people.

Knowing better as we do that this is largely an MDC-T event, you can come to the easy conclusion that some political parties were represented by leaders and their briefcases only, nothing else.

And the day itself was nothing to write home about.

That is why on the morrow, we were not treated to a festival of celebration of the mega success.

The reportage from our poor cousins was muted and embarrassed.

It was like that loud fart that everybody pretends did not happen.

We notice that even in South Africa where the media largely cheer the opposition and its characters one broadcaster touted the “massive” demo but did not bother to follow up on how it turned out, obviously embarrassed.

Politics on aphrodisiacs

Let’s face it.

Opposition in Zimbabwe is in terminal decline.

When our poor cousins across the street tout mega rallies, etc, they know they would be flogging a dead horse.

Or in other words, it is more like an indecent act of self-pleasuring.

It gives temporary comfort of some kind but it doesn’t last long.

It is also fruitless.

Tsvangirai is very much a dead horse.

He is desperate for something to cling to.

Street protests have been his last remit for two major reasons: to remain visible and, more crucially, to start some kind of Arab Spring via a clash with police.

On Wednesday, Tsvangirai, addressing the paltry crowd, said: “Days of flooding the streets are coming. We shall flock all the streets peacefully demanding that it’s our right to a level electoral playing field and that time is coming very soon but not today at this gathering.”

But the strategy is increasingly reaping diminished returns.

It is like an impotent man piling on more aphrodisiacs.

A point is reached that they no longer work and in turn fatal.

Tsvangirai should know better.

It’s Joice’s choice!

“ZimPF women should question Mujuru’s commitment to the empowerment of Zimbabwean women. Zimbabweans should question Mujuru’s commitment to gender equality in politics . . .

“At the moment in ZimPF, women are rarely taken seriously. ZimPF is beset with problems situated in a debilitating reluctance to accept women as leaders. Mujuru is fast becoming the female figurehead of a leadership that’s isolated from the people it claims to lead.

“Mujuru should not be allowed to kill the hopes and dreams Zimbabwean women and Zimbabweans in general.”

These bitter, mournful words were said by Margaret Dongo on the occasion of her firing by Joice Mujuru from Zimbabwe People First party, which has since reconstituted as National People’s Party.

They need little elaboration.

Suffice to say that Mujuru has never been a paragon or champion of women’s rights in this country, throughout her 34 years in Government.

During her young stint in opposition she has shown to be self hating as a woman and gone on to surround herself with men from old timers like Didymus Mutasa to small boys like Marvelous Kuvheya.

At least we have heard her idea of a Queen Bee from none other than herself.

Columnists at this paper have been accused of being against the feminine side of Mujuru the politician.

Only she does not give a good account of herself.

A convention to choose leadership at Nappy, oops, NPP, will demonstrate what we mean.

But she has made her bed – let her lie on it whatever her idea of a Queen Bee is!