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SHARUKO ON SATURDAY 

EVERY major football tournament has its soundtrack and, six years after the vuvuzela made its mark at the World Cup, the Vikings thunder clap war chant turned itself into the sound of Euro 2016, thanks of course to Iceland’s stunning success story in France.Iceland arrived at their first Euro Championship as the smallest nation to qualify for the tournament, with a population of about 330 000, about roughly half the number of people who live in Bulawayo, and just four years after having been ranked as lowly as 133rd in the world by FIFA.

But that they didn’t have a domestic professional football set-up mattered little as they went all the way to the quarter-finals of Euro 2016, knocking out England in the last 16 in one of the greatest upsets in the history of world football, before their fairy-tale was ended by hosts France — just two hurdles away from the final.

Gary Lineker, the former England captain whose goals powered his country to the semi-finals of the ’90 World Cup in Italy before, in retirement, he transformed himself into one of the most authoritative voices of English football as the anchor of BBC’s Match of the Day television show, put his country’s defeat into perspective in the brutal post-mortem that followed.

“The worst defeat in our history, England beaten by a country with more volcanoes than professional footballers,” he said in a tweet which, given his authority, went viral.

What Lineker didn’t tell his audience was that this was just another chapter, in football’s history of producing some remarkable fairy-tales — from Uruguay’s Miracle of the Maracana in 1950 when they somehow beat hosts Brazil 2-1 in the final of the 1950 World Cup, a United States side made up of teachers, postmen and dishwashers shocking England 1-0 at the same World Cup and Greece shocking hosts Portugal 1-0 in the Euro 2004 final.

Or an unknown army corporal, Park Doo-Irk, transforming himself into the hero of the North Koreans as his goal helped the Asian lightweights, who arrived as 1000-1 outsiders at the 1966 World Cup finals, to beat heavyweights Italy 1-0 and knock the Azzurri in the last 16 of that tournament.

What about Algeria downing mighty West Germany, who then boasted the talents of superstars like Paul Breitner, Pierre Libarski and Karl-Heinz Rummenigge, a country with a proven pedigree at the World Cup having won the tournament in 1954, 1974 and lost in the final in 1966, 2-1 in a 1982 World Cup group game in the worst defeat for the Germans in their history?

Or Senegal, playing in their first World Cup final game, somehow shocking the globe and a star-studded French side, who had not only won the previous tournament on home soil, thrashing Brazil 3-0 in the final, but also went on to win the Euro 2000 trophy, with the West Africans posting a famous 1-0 victory at the 2002 World Cup finals.

And, of course, when Gabon last hosted the Nations Cup just four years ago, Zambia — playing for the first time in the country that, until then, had come to represent the ultimate tragedy a nation can face with memories still fresh of that chartered military plane, carrying Chipolopolo to a World Cup qualifier in Senegal, taking off in Libreville after refuelling and then crashing shortly afterwards, killing everyone on board — using it as a base to write their greatest triumph.

Facing the mighty Cote d’Ivoire with their galaxy of European-based stars, the Zambians were not given a chance in the 2012 Nations Cup final by many bookmakers while some psychologists said the burden of playing in Libreville, where their colleagues had perished just off the coast of the Gabonese capital 19 years earlier, would be too heavy an emotional burden for our neighbours to carry.

But the Zambians made a mockery of the bookmakers’ predictions, with a dogged display which included Kennedy Mweene saving Didier Drogba’s penalty in regulation time, to force a penalty shoot-out which Chipolopolo won as they were crowned African champions for the first time in their history.

If you are a true football fan, you probably still hear the sounds of the Viking thunder clap war chant — the Icelandic fans and their players clapping their hands in unison before they scream “BOOM” — which was introduced to the world at the 2016 Euros where, in my little book, they were the team of the tournament.

LITTLE ICELAND, UNLIKE SOME OF US, WERE INSPIRED BY THE CHALLENGE AND ADVENTURE

I found it quite interesting that all our mainstream daily newspapers had the word “TOUGH” in their headlines in their back page stories on Thursday telling their readers that our Warriors have been placed in the Group of Death and everyone who supports them has to brace for Armageddon come January.

Cartoonists like my good friend Knowledge Mushohwe even joined the party with a cartoon in H-Metro which suggested the Warriors will need the wings of Superman for them to just compete against tough world-class opponents who, barring injuries, will bring in the likes of Riyad Mahrez, Islam Slimani, Saido Mane and Mame Diouf.

Admittedly, we have been drawn to face talented teams that have some of the best footballers in Africa today and newspaper Editors have the responsibility not to deceive our people with reports, fuelled just by nationalistic bravado, suggesting our Warriors will have it easy in Gabon in this tough group.

Taking on Algeria, Senegal and Tunisia are very tough assignments, especially for a team like ours whose defence is yet to be tested by quality opposition, whose first-choice ‘keeper’s command of his area, when it comes to balls floated across the box, remains questionable and whose diminutive stature will be feasted upon by physically imposing opponents.

And whose midfield sterility remains a cause of concern, without a playmaker to pull the strings.

But to suggest we are only going there to make up the numbers, simply because our opponents have players with bigger profiles, is way off the mark because, if football was like that, then Chile wouldn’t have beaten a Messi-led Argentina twice in two successive Copa America finals, Zambia wouldn’t have won the Nations Cup four years ago and Iceland wouldn’t have beaten England in France.

Who said underdogs cannot punch above their weight and if that was the case, then David would not be the subject of such inspiration, when it comes to defying the odds, to millions of Christians, having been crushed, without a fight, by mighty Goliath in their showdown?

Being one of those who were bowled over by Iceland’s stunning success in France, I dug deeper to try and find out what made them so successful in their first dance with the European football heavyweights, charming their nation that, at one stage, a tenth of their country flew to France to be part of their adventure.

My little research revealed that, unlike some of us who have already conceded defeat before even the first game has been played, the Icelanders refused to be overwhelmed by the enormity of the task they faced in France and even their bloggers flooded their media landscape with articles which portrayed them as a special breed of people who were not going to the Euros just to make up the numbers.

After all, they told themselves, they were the only country in the world where it’s normal for babies, even as young as two weeks old, to be left outside to sleep in temperatures of minus 30 degrees, with the fresh air helping the toddlers to get healthy and no wonder, on average, an Icelander lives for 82 years — 10 years older than the global average.

They evoked memories of their Viking forefathers who were explorers and invaders and conquered a good part of Europe, including England, back in the ninth century and if their founding fathers could do it, in trenches where it was either life or death, why then should their footballers not do it on a football pitch?

“If you can find me a better fan chant to represent your country in any sport in the world, then I will buy you a pint,” Harry Oram wrote on The Huffington Post.

Nanna Gunnarsdottir, another blogger, reveals that Icelanders had predicted that their team would win.

“Iceland and England just competed in the Round of 16 game. And as (Icelanders) predicted, Iceland won,” she wrote on her blog. “Ok, so, half of this blog was written in advance and the other half was written approximately as long as it took me to celebrate briefly, walking home to write it (and stock up the booze).

“So, approximately, 10 minutes later (Reykjavik — the Iceland capital — is small). That’s the same half that’s written after a bottle of bubbly and a beer (the bubbly was finished even before half-time, that’s how certain I was we’d win.

“England is currently number 11 on FIFA’s ranking list and Iceland number 34. So we knew it would be a tough match but we were fully confident after beating Austria (who are ranked number 10, above England). Iceland’s defence is strong and the team has got nothing to lose and is strong and united.”

LIKE THE ICELANDERS, LET’S RALLY OUR BOYS TO BECOME THE LATTER DAY DAVIDS

There are some, among us, ever the pessimists, who are quick to suggest that we owe our place in Gabon to playing against lightweight opponents like Malawi and Swaziland, conveniently forgetting that Guinea, quarter-finalists at the last Nations Cup finals, were also part of our group which we won with a game to spare.

The same people have been quick to say, since the draw on Wednesday, we are now in for a reality check against proper opponents who will not only beat us, but hand us a humiliation in Gabon.

But what surprises me is that the same people who want to talk, at length, about us having played in a group they perceive was weak, suddenly tell us Senegal won all their group games, which is fair and fine, but conveniently don’t tell us the Lions of Teranga played Niger, Burundi and Namibia and needed a penalty, in Windhoek, to beat the Namibians 2-0.

That there wasn’t even a team, with the pedigree of Guinea, in this group, is conveniently ignored.

If we had been thrust in the same group as Namibia, Niger and Burundi, chances are also high we could also have won all our group games.

They say Algeria destroyed their opposition in their group, scoring 25 goals, which is fair and fine, but this was a group that featured Lesotho, for goodness sake, Seychelles, can you believe it, and Ethiopia and in the match in Addis Ababa, which ended 3-3, the Algerians needed an 86th minute penalty for the equaliser.

They say Slimani scored four goals, during the qualifiers, which is fine, but they seem to ignore the fact Knowledge Musona and Khama Billiat — whose campaign was blighted by their battles with the old ZIFA leadership which didn’t want to pay them their dues and they ended up taking a bus trip to Malawi — still scored three goals each.

Mahrez scored two goals in the qualifiers, by the way.

They say Saido Mane scored three goals during the qualifiers, ende akaipa, but they don’t tell you Musona and Khama also scored three goals each.

They say we are playing Tunisia and that’s Mission Impossible, but what they won’t tell you is that the same Tunisians were beaten 2-1 by Equatorial Guinea, who have never qualified for a Nations Cup finals they have not hosted, just two years ago in the quarter-finals of the 2015 Nations Cup finals.

Yes, Algeria and Tunisia are very good teams, but shouldn’t those who are saying our boys will be like lambs being driven into the slaughter chamber also tell you that North African countries rarely do well at the Nations Cup finals in West Africa and, of the 11 tournaments held in that part of the continent, only once — in 2008 when Egypt beat Cameroon in the final — did a country from North Africa win.

Ghana hosted and won in ’63, Congo Brazzaville won in Cameroon in ’72, Ghana hosted and won in ’78, Uganda were runners-up, Nigeria third, Nigeria hosted and won in 1980, Cameroon won in Cote d’Ivoire in ’84 and Nigeria were runners-up, Cote d’Ivoire won in Senegal in ’92, Ghana were second, Nigeria third and Cameroon fourth; Cameroon won in Ghana/Nigeria 2000, Nigeria were second, South Africa third and Tunisia fourth; Cameroon won in Mali in 2000, Senegal were second, Nigeria third and Mali fourth.

Zambia won in Gabon/Equatorial Guinea in 2012, Cote d’Ivoire were second, Mali third and Ghana fourth and Cote d’Ivoire won in Equatorial Guinea last year, Ghana were second, DRC third and Equatorial Guinea fourth.

The talent might be with Algeria and Tunisia but, in West Africa, history is against them when it comes to the Nations Cup finals.

I was there in Egypt, 10 years ago, when the Warriors beat a World Cup-bound Ghana 2-1, actually 3-1 if you ask me because the third goal we scored was a legitimate one, and that should tell you that, at this level, anything can happen.

MAYBE, THAT’S WHY EVEN TRUMP IS AGAINST THE MEDIA

I’m not a Donald Trump fan, but I couldn’t help laughing this week when he took aim at the media for savaging his wife Melaine for plagiarising Michelle Obama’s speech.

“The media is more biased this year than ever before, ever. You want the proof?” Trump thundered. “Michelle Obama gives a speech and everyone loves it, it’s fantastic, they think she is absolutely great. My wife Melaine gives exactly the same speech and people get on her case and I don’t get it. I don’t know why, she took a lot of abuse for it.”

TO GOD BE THE GLORY!

Come on Warriors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Khamaldinhoooooooooooooooooo!

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