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consumption yet they are revered for being the cradle of creation and indisputable advancement of the human race.
Again in the village homosexuality is taboo.
It brings untold abomination not only to the family but the entire clan. It invites the wrath of the entire ancestral lineage. This villager and his kind noticed that MDC-T, the self-confessed party of Sexcellence, was at it again this week, its grandmother Senator Sithembile Mlotshwa, calling for prisoners to masturbate and enjoy their sexual rights through a multifarious array of sex gadgetry.
“We can’t say we don’t have money to feed and clothe prisoners because people can stay without food, but they want their sexual desires to be satisfied whether you like it or not.
“We can’t ignore and say we don’t have money so we won’t provide those gadgetry.
“In other countries they provide sex gadgets and they have also constructed rooms where people go and service themselves when the desire arises,” she ranted. My foot, here is a grandmother telling the whole nation that it is better to go without food than to forego sex. 
With a grandmother like this who needs a Luciferian? Not so long ago the clownish grandma Mlotshwa shocked this nation when she said couples should have sex once a month to avert the spread of Aids.
What trivia! Why on earth she preoccupies herself with talking sex is for the village soothsayer to tell us.
Dear reader, this villager will go back to the issue of couples having sex once a month as suggested by grandma, the other time, later in this installment, but for now allow this villager to deal with the issue of prisoners.
A senator, I mean a fully elected senator, dwelling on trivia is not only sad but an epitome of what her political party stands for. Certainly is there a chief whip in that political formation, he should have flogged her with words but fortunately for grandma Mlotshwa and unfortunately for us, the whole political formation is known for Sexcellence.
Mlotshwa insists that it is better for prisoners to go without food than to go without sex. She would rather have prisoners go hungry that be sexually starved? Senate is normally preserved for the mature but in a political jungle like ours, the politically and socially immature find their way into the August house and debate trivia.
“Vatete, vatete kani . . . vatete? Vatete munodarirei kuchengeta matsotsi . . ?” was that not Thomas Mapfumo?
The soothsayer says grandma might be a candidate for prison and is preparing for her eventual stay, where she surely does not want to miss her pre-occupational pleasantry, when her time comes. Here is a grandmother telling us that she would rather forego food for sex. Hezvoko!
Suffice to say, there are so many issues pressing the prison services, that our judiciary and legislature should deal with than prisoners’ sexual rights.
It goes without saying that prison, by its nature is a correctional place or reformatory underpinned by punishment, banishment, seclusion and a deprivation of a buffet or cocktail of normal life pleasantries. It is never meant to be a stroll in the park but hard and deterrent.
Deprivation of sexual rights is one of the many dishes of the buffet of punishment that goes with imprisonment. But our grandma thinks otherwise. 
In the village granny, should provide guidance and leadership to all and sundry but when she proves to be a sex maniac, it sets even chicken laughing throughout the kraal.
This grandmother Mlotshwa, the senator for the unfortunate people of Matobo, itself the cradle of African humanism, traditional values and national respect, given the geographical location of Njelele and Lobengula’s grave, seems to dwell much on sex. This is surprising given her age!
The village soothsayer, the autochthon of knowledge and wisdom, gifted with the art of seeing what happens tomorrow, today, was not baffled, at all.
The soothsayer contents that the grandmother has a story to tell.
“She certainly has something to tell. She must tell you her marital status and she must tell the nation where she learnt about these gadgets and where she experienced their effectiveness. If you press her hard, she will confess,” says the soothsayer.
But hailing from a political party with a predilection of sexual scandals from the top to the bottom, this villager is not really shocked. Grandma Mlotshwa has a past record of suggesting that couple should have sex once a month to reduce the spread of AIDS.
She says the only avenue left to curb the spread of HIV among married people is by injecting husbands with an “immobiliser” to reduce their libido and that it was important to reduce men’s appetite for sex.
This villager thinks it is a case of a cat calling another black. In the village, baboons do not laugh at each other’s buttocks, for, they are the same.
“I do not think that when God created these parts, which we use for mating, he was thinking that one time there is going to be this HIV.
“I am looking at it from this angle and I am thinking that when we were created this problem of HIV was not there. People might think that I am joking, but I seriously think if I were the Minister responsible for men, I would really enforce law onto our men,” she ranted.
Grandma . . . Grandma . . . Grandma, this villager now wonders what was your contribution to African, Pacific and Caribbean countries.
That was a national mandate to campaign against illegal sanctions imposed on Zimbabwe by Western countries and this villager just hopes you failed to get an opportunity to slot in your sex talk. 
The MDC-T grandmother came into the fold, to replace Nelson Chamisa and that kind of replacement shows lack of depth of character. This villager is sure, with better people in its pool, MDC-T would have found a better replacement. 
Otherwise it is indeed an embarrassment not only for Zimbabwe but for Africa. Our African humanism does not accept a grandmother whose tongue loosely talks about sex.
This villager insists that there are better issues to tackle in this country, than dwell on sex matters.
This country is climbing out of a political dustbin, where it was catapulted by Western imperialists for daring to redistribute the land, our land. So, there are too many important things that we need to do than buy sex gadgets for prisoners.
But coming from a political party that preoccupies itself with sex, even between seniors and juniors, what the soothsayer calls fishing from the family pond, may all and sundry forgive grandma Mlotshwa!
“The next election beckons and we will see if the people of Matobo will vote for an advocate of sex and sex dynamics and not food,” says the village soothsayer.