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Hon Dr Paul Chimedza (Gutu South) signs the book of Oath of Office during the swearing-in ceremony in the House of Assembly on Tuesday

Tendai Manzvanzvike
Herald columnist Dr Sekai Nzenza this week wrote a piece aptly titled, “A return to laughter”. I say apt, because as a writer, it seems as though I had lost my sense of humour and was no longer able to tell a story no matter how general, in a light-hearted mood. Going through the stuff that I penned since 2000 to date, some of it published, and others unpublished there is a common thread. There is so much angst with each piece looking as if I’m hitting against a brick wall.

But thanks to Dr Nzenza. Like her, my laughter is back. The reasons might be different, but all the same, I can laugh again, and laugh really hard — that genuine laugh with a tinge of self-actualisation. Now I realise that if I had laughed more, even at the most absurd political satires of our time, I would have achieved a lot of success.

Here then is to the laughter that has mileage. Parliamentarians for the first session of the Eighth Parliament were sworn in on September 3, exactly a month after the announcement of the results of the July 31 harmonised elections.

When I listened to Honourable Themba Mliswa on ZTV News on Monday night remarking that the induction they had gone through was an eye-opener and that campaigning was child’s play, and the real work of delivering on the promises was about to start, I wondered whether this was a sentiment shared by all lawmakers.

Will we see all the legislators focused on one issue: delivery, delivery and delivery on the promises they made? Will we also see lawmakers who selflessly work for the interests of the people instead of expecting the people to be their servants? As they took their oaths of office, did they understand that this was a responsibility that would make a marked difference in their lives as Zimbabweans and future generations?

Is the Eighth Parliament occupied by legislators who believe in Zimbabweans’ ability to extricate themselves from a myriad of challenges they face using local solutions?

Does the Eighth Parliament have unity of purpose notwithstanding that they come from different political parties? Are they also men and women who understand their role in protecting Zimbabwe’s sovereignty and self-determination, through the laws they will enact? Do they know and understand Zimbabwe’s national interest and how to protect it?

But, Tuesday was their day. We congratulate them for getting this far. Many wanted the positions they now occupy. Thousands fought hard to be addressed as “Honourable”, while others, just like some of you, hoped to land top posts in Government as Cabinet ministers, which President Mugabe will soon announce.

Most people wanted to hear Honourable Joseph “Chinos” Chinotimba being sworn in. The jokes created around his persona on various platforms regarding the swearing-in are too numerous, save to say that most people cannot believe that Cde Chinos is now an MP who “fought and died for this country”.

As I followed the swearing-in programme on some live blogs, many things came to mind. Parliament had suddenly become like one of our schools, which coincidentally reopened for the third term on the same day that the new parliamentarians were sworn in.

Now, if you have observed children’s behaviour when schools open in January, you will have noted that they can be grouped in a number of categories. We have at primary level, the pre-school or Grade Zeroes. Then there are the Grade Ones up to Grade Seven. The other category is junior and senior high school levels.

All the legislators, in one way or the other, fit into one of these categories. There were a number of newcomers while it was a “back to school” for a lot of other MPs and Senators.

The interesting part is that Grade Zeroes are used to how things are done at home. They are also used to the names they use at home. For example, Farai knows that at home, friends and family members call him Fatso.

But Fatso is not at home, but at school, and both his teacher and class mates call him Farai. I’ve heard numerous stories from Grade Zero and Grade One teachers where they “fight” with pupils who do not own up to the “new” names being called out by the teacher.

Thus Farai will adamantly tell his teacher that his name is not Farai, but Fatso. It’s an uphill struggle for the teacher to convince Farai that Fatso and Farai is one and the same person, but unfortunately at school he will have to be called Farai.

This Grade Zero scenario made me think of all the new Members of Parliament. Soon after being sworn in, they were transformed to “Honourable so and so”. Even the media changed.

I imagine that for a while, they might ignore when someone calls out to them, only to realise that things have changed. When that truth sinks in, they will respond to the new title with exuberance.

But a word of caution! While Farai and Fatso are interchangeable names, the same cannot be said for the term, “honourable”. The honourable men and women sworn in on Tuesday should not expect to be addressed thus by their spouses and/or children at home.

I’m not yet done with Parliament’s Grade Zeroes. These new comers will initially be excited by all the attention and the prospects, but as time goes on, it will be business as usual as those who have been in the august House many times will tell them otherwise. Eventually they will think that there is no big deal if they skip some of the sittings, and still claim their share.

In some cases, they will come for the sittings, only to have the attendance register marked, but soon after, they will sneak out and use taxpayers’ time and money to do their own thing. Some will be unfazed as they ask for more remuneration and other perks but in the process, their constituencies will be testimony of their dismal performance.

What might change the business as usual of the past decades is the decision by Zanu-PF to introduce a performance appraisal system for its legislators. As The Chronicle indicated in its editorial of August 30, 2013, “The decision by the ruling Zanu-PF to introduce a performance appraisal system for its legislators in the Eighth Parliament is a very commendable move.

The decision is a confirmation that the party is taking seriously the issue of fulfilling the promises it made to the electorate during its campaigns…”
But the laughter continues. I’ll hastily say to all our legislators that Zimbabwe is crying out for good performers.

It’s not possible to be a resource rich country while people wallow in abject poverty. When you made that commitment to serve the nation, do it selflessly. As the Fourth Estate, our responsibility will be to work with you and other arms of Government, although our responsibility will be to focus more on checks and balances.

There are a zillion challenges in all the constituencies, which need your attention, leadership and guidance. As we await the appointment of Cabinet, I’ll point out a few of the issues that need your immediate attention.

It does not augur well that Zesa should announce that there will be more load shedding on the very day that you are sworn in. It sounded like a curse, but with the commitment you have given, it might be a blessing in disguise to see how you will deal with this critical component that should turn around the economy. Their reasons might be genuine, but it is time that the nation has a sustainable and uninterrupted supply of power, energy and water.

It was also all smiles among householders in urban centres as the Zanu-PF Government fulfilled its first campaign promise as councils wrote off all debts.

Here is the challenge for our MPs, Senators and councillors. There are more lodgers than house-owners in all cities and towns. But surprise, surprise, while the lodgers kept their part of the deal with their landlords, these same people did not do that. Instead, they accrued huge debts.

When Government gives them this huge bonus, which might have cost them their homes, they do not understand that it should cascade downward so that everyone benefits. However, rumour is that some are hiking their rentals.

The final challenge, for this week is the cost of public transportation, the hassles and harassment faced by commuters.
For how long will people have to endure being treated as second class citizens when they are paying dearly for a service?

The US$1 per trip being charged for the short distances is nothing but day-light robbery. The Zimbabwe Republic Police should also realise that they have become a scapegoat for overcharging.

But people are saying there is no time for a honeymoon. They have waited for this moment for too long, and they are happy that finally, there is a new crop of leadership that is prepared to turnaround their lives for the better.

We wish you all the best in the coming five years!