Zimpapers Logo

many of us are able to see into?
Do we even think about that time when we may no longer be there? It is not a very pleasant thing to think about? It is not even pleasant to plan for it either.
But whether we like it or not, the reality is that at some point, which I always pray that is many, many years away for me, our time will be up.
As the late Whitney Houston said in the movie “Bodyguard”, which I had a chance to watch again for the umpteenth time recently: “When your time is up, it is up.” So the reality is that none of us can avoid that inevitable reality though for Christians like me, we believe that we can always ask for more time from our God. But as I have said, that is the reality and every one of us, except maybe the little children and youngsters is aware of that.
Despite this knowledge it is many a people who leave a mess behind them when they go. It is many a people who do not even want to discuss that time. There are people who just do not see why they need to discuss such issues, which is very selfish, especially for those with children and other dependents in their lives.
Frankly I think it is because of fear. I think as a culture for a long time we did not really sit down and discuss death. I am not even enjoying writing about it right now but as a communicator, I am going to see this to the end. We prefer to just have it happen without really discussing it. Even when one is very sick, people are taught not to discuss their dying. You might whisper about it yes, but you cannot go to the sick person and say: “Hey, are your things in order?” You will be alienated if not labelled the witch that is sending the sick person to an early grave.
I initiated a discussion about why so many people of our culture do not leave behind wills when they die, with a group of my friends and the immediate reaction for most of them was that it is taboo to plan for death. The other half said it is because most of “our people” do not have anything to leave behind in most cases, hence there is no need for any will. I found that to be so untrue and a bit insulting.
Surely every one of us has something of ours that we would like to pass on to someone should we not be there. That does not have anything to do with whether you own five houses, three apartments, a dozen businesses and have millions of dollars in different banks.
Even if it is just our children there is need to plan for them after we are no longer there.
I watched a programme where a legal advisor was actually saying it is important to indicate who your children will be cared for when you are gone.
Will it be your sister, mother, mother in law or someone else? My colleagues laughed about that saying there was no need for that for the family would somehow take care of the children.
But don’t we all know of cases where children are saddled with someone who does not really want them or who is not capable of looking after them just because there is no other way? Surely by leaving a will or even just sharing your wishes for when you are not there with someone is something. I read in The Herald that the late Andy Brown had indicated to his widow where he wanted to be buried. Surely that is something. When you avoid such topics at all times, how then will we honour each other’s wishes?
The legal advisor on the programme I watched went on to say it was important especially for couples to have a discussion about what would happen should one of them not be there.
She said it was not rare that some couples do not even know where the other party is banking, what investments they have taken out, how many loans they have taken out, how many properties they have accumulated as well as how many children they have.
Imagine such a scenario and someone just falls and dies or crashes in their car?
That is when you see someone losing everything to debts they never knew existed or finding out they are broke on the day they lose that significant other.
It is tough for children to adjust to living some very poor life when all they knew was a cushy lifestyle just because no one thought about the time when they would no longer be there.
Even if it is the one house that you live in, there is need to have a plan for what happens to it in case. Verbally communicating your wishes is even better than refusing completely to talk about that time, which will surely come for each and every one of us.
Anyone with children or dependents has no business spending everything they make without putting something aside, at least every month.
Even if it is a little amount, it must be put away somewhere for that time when you are not there.
At least there will be something and somewhere to start from. This must be accompanied with instructions of how this money will be shared. There are investment plans today where you can indicate how funds should be shared amongst your beneficiaries. Surely every adult must make use of them.
While planning for dependents, there is also no harm in planning for your funeral. It is better to have a policy taken out so that when the inevitable happens and you are gone, people can send you off in dignity and without being burdened. It is being totally selfish not to want to think about such moments, which we know will happen just because of our fears and taboos. I have a friend who was telling me they are not worried about such things because they will not be there to see them. He said no matter how poor, people always get buried so he does not see the need to worry about what would happen when his time was up. Imagine!
If you are of the same thoughts, please reconsider for tomorrow will surely come.