Litmus test for marriage during lockdown Couples should support each other during the lockdown period

Pastor Lee Fore Faith Correspondent
THE  lockdown appears to have come as a litmus test to marriages considering the spiralling cases of gender-based violence (GBV) recorded during the 21-day lockdown.

According to Women’s Coalition of Zimbabwe (WCOZ), statistics reached at least 764 reported cases of GBV since the beginning of the lockdown on March 30.

However, are these statistics a climax of events gathering over the marriage years? Have marriages been exposed? WCOZ is calling on the Government to step up its support to address the crisis of GBV during the lockdown with strong measures.

Coming together as one from different backgrounds, the probability of conflict may be considered inevitable, but our major preoccupation in this article is to consider the major principles that must be the driving force in making sure that marriages do not break, and that fights in marriages are limited.

While there are many principles that help make marriage work, the following are three are key and worth considering.

  1. 1. Communication: It is important to have a two way communication as a couple as this helps to create an environment to talk as best friends, planning things together as husband and wife, and avoiding assumptions in dealing with matters.
  2. 2. Forgiveness: In marriage both parties must be willing to forgive each other as many times as necessary. Forgiveness in marriage should be unconditional and offer a fresh start every day.
  3. Protect your marriage: It is also important to guard your marriage against threats and outside interferences. It is therefore wise to ask God to build a wall of protection.

Rev Tigere Nyamakawo founder of Akatendeka Marriage Clinic, says  marriage is a divine institution given by God as part of the created order revealed in the scriptures that God states that it is not good for a man to be alone, He had to make him a helper corresponding to him according to Genesis 2:19-20. He also spoke about Covid-19 set lockdown coming to test the marriages as an institution.

Above all he highlighted the spiritual aspect of marriage in the midst of lockdown to be treated with revelation to avoid fighting and divorce.

The broken routine

Before the lockdown, husband and wife used to go to work from 8am and come back at 6pm. When they arrived home, the wife cooked, while the husband read the newspaper, or watched television or is absorbed on Whatsapp, while the children did their homework before retiring to bed. At 8pm, mom and dad watch news, 9pm they are on WhatsApp and at 10pm they retire to bed. This has been the routine of most families.

When the lockdown was effected, it broke the usual routine, forcing the family to sit down together, where they could not do so. The routine, may for example have gone on for 10 years, and the advent of the lockdown  became the litmus test.

Things that were not known came to light. Partners’ weaknesses, strengths, capabilities and so on came under the spotlight.

Forced to face reality

Marriage is a give and take. For the irresponsible couples who ignored the other partner’s demands, the partner who could not afford to the other at home, the shortage of food at home and the demands of the children, this was time to face reality.

But for the responsible tolerant couples, the lockdown is not a prison, but the moment of grace  and celebrating the goodness of marriage.

The faithful and  unfaithful partners

For the faithful the heart is rejoicing and there is nothing to fear, but for the infidel, the unfaithful, it came as a jolt to be locked indoors with a phone full of secrets that is never easily accessed by the spouse.

Now full-time at home, the reality sets in. Perhaps the lockdown is time to ponder, think deep, “lockdown” all the evils, free the spirit and appreciate the circumstances in lockdown.

Let it be the moment of reflection, looking back the marriage lane and checking the principle implored before to operate within the provisions of sacred marriage institution.

It is important to come together as a couple, or family seeking God’s wisdom to attain a happy marriage. Let the lockdown set a higher standard to restore perfect love, trust, joy and peace in every marriage.

Pastor Lee Fore: Religious Commentator: Feedback and Comments Contact: +263 773 469 191 or +263 712 314 734.

 

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