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Dr Sacrifice Chirisa Mental Health Matters
Parents exert enormous influence over their children’s mental and psychological development.

They are, however, not the only influences, especially after children enter school.

It’s especially important that parents give children a good start, but it is also important for parents to recognise that kids come into the world with their own temperaments, and it is the parent’s job to provide an interface with the world that eventually prepares a child for complete independence.

The time before school is a window and a lot of parents are missing by overly busy lives. In a rapidly changing world, parenting seems subject to fads and changing styles, and parenting in some ways has become a competitive sport. Most young parents do not know what to do to raise their kids.

There is a thing called over-parenting, and aiming for perfection in parenting might be a fool’s mission.

Too much parenting cripples children as they move into adulthood and renders them unable to cope with the simple setbacks.

There is also such a thing as too-little parenting, and research establishes that lack of parental engagement often leads to poor behavioural outcomes in children, in part because it encourages the young to be too reliant on peer culture.

Ironically, harsh or authoritarian styles of parenting can have the same effect.

As a way to advise new parents tips below will help to bring the kind of psychological balance to be a success in life;

1. Teach kids to do things for themselves.

People who describe themselves as happier parents typically move from greater involvement when their kids are younger to encouraging independence when their kids are older, for example, when kids are older, they buy them an alarm clock and expect the children to get up on their own. If the kids are late for school, so be it.

2. Kids don’t always have to come first.

Happier parents don’t put their kids’ everyday needs above their own. Just because your child wants a ride somewhere does not mean you have to drop everything you are doing to take them. As a parent take care of your needs too, to be able to meet your child’s ones.

3. Know what really matters.

Happier parents know that most of what we perceive as threats to our kids are not really threats. Not getting into the right first grade classroom is not a threat. Not getting invited to your best friend’s birthday party is not a threat. Not getting into college is not a threat. Parents who moderate their reactions to such events help both themselves and their kids.

There is need for more parenting classes if we are to do justice as parents in this fast changing world. But fundamentals will always be fundamentals and let’s get them right.

Dr S. M. Chirisa is a passionate mental health specialist who holds an undergraduate medical degree and postgraduate Master’s degree in psychiatry, from the University of Zimbabwe. He is currently working as a Senior Registrar in the Department of Psychiatry at Parirenyatwa Group of Hospitals and is also the current national treasurer of the Zimbabwe Medical Association (ZiMA). He can be reached at [email protected]