THE SATURDAY COLUMN
We are told sister Piri, as Prisca Mupfumira was known in her close circles, is demanding too much luxury behind bars. Yes, she has not yet been convicted, but it could be her insatiable quest for swag that could have led to her alleged pilferage of public funds.
Nero: What demons!
For a more than a year now, we have known that Nero has been horny for power, expressly hallucinating about State House. Poor boy, whose ego has been massaged by the United States of America in particular, started believing in his dream when he violently usurped power from Thoko. The danger of his small brain is he thinks he can steal power again, from ED, same style.
Once a thief always one. No amount of rehabilitation can change you. You see, we are not in the habit of hugging a hyena, Nero. It is filthy and predatory. If you think you can steal power the same style, you are lost. Go back to your village in Chiwara, brew beer and pacify your ancestors. They are giving you nightmares! Go home Nero! The demons are with you. Go cast them out!
We obviously know that the boy from Chiwara in Gutu, has been sleepwalking for too long. And, in a few gullible people, he has found pawns. Dead people walking and walking and walking in his in his sleep. Dead brained ones, who as night falls, start licking wounds and realising they got injured for nothing.
Yesterday, we heard the rowdy crowds, if, indeed, a handful of riotous ignoramuses can qualify to be a crowd, hollering for attention as always, but we knew, like we always do, that it was for the cameras. A dump squib!
There are always sponsored cameras when these hoodlums take to the streets to disturb our peace with such baboonery skulduggery that shames Satan. And now there were not only cameras galore from far and wide, in anticipation of high drama, but Geneve Comite International (International Committee of the Red Cross — ICRC) personnel, whom we feel were equally miffed by the absence of blood, seeing they were howling for it, being forever excited by the sight of blood and prospects for bloodbaths.
We have been loudly saying it here and elsewhere that a third hand exists in these so called protests, and we will say it louder now, that this hand is getting longer and uglier.
It is not surprising, for nothing surprises us now, that these so called peaceful demonstrations have a devilish inclination that reeks of nauseating greenbacks.
There are some among us, who have anchored their lifestyles on “crises”, and if they feel that “crisis” distances itself from their licentious ruckus, it is in their nature to create it. They are so much imbued with suffering, the suffering of fellow citizens that they can go to any length to perpetuate misery for their own selfish gain.
Crisis! What “crisis” do these misfits talk of ad infinitum? These “crisis” demons need to be cast away, if we are to move forward as a nation.
But Zimbabweans are not buffoons, and cannot be used to prolong their own suffering through lining others’ pockets, and playing into the hands of goons masquerading as politicians and human rights champions. You see, there are no human rights violations that beat robbing innocent families of their daily bread. Demonstrations are counter-productive, and fly in the face of the same rights they are purported to represent.
Peace-loving and hardworking Zimbabweans know better than joining circus trains that head nowhere. They have travelled the railroad before, and are wiser now of the thugs that await to waylay, and deny them passage to the broth tureen. A day lost on productivity cannot be regained, that is true, but it is equally true that tear smoke, as tear smoke brings itchiness to the eyes, skin and nostrils, and that truncheons leave bruises. It is not news to take one to the mountains and scream “baboons”, because that is where they are found. But now these baboons have taken to invading human abodes, with such magnanimity of comicality that leaves us all looking askance.
Gutu district has been the home of illustrious politicians from Simon Muzenda to Thomas Mberikwazvo and Shuvai Ben Mahofa, among others. For those not in the know, Thomas Mberikwazo is known in military circles and liberation war history as Josiah Tungamirai. These luminaries put Gutu on good footing in the history of Zimbabwe, but this boy Nero has not learnt from these luminaries.
Nero is too dull. Too egoistic. Too small-brained to the point where he thinks his is Mr Politics. He needs to be addressed.
By the way, we are not at your home in Chiwara, Nero, where you keep 21 vicious dogs. Instead of spending a fortune on those dogs and your huge vehicle entourage, you could help a few poor people. You could do the country a favour in persuading show owners to reduce prices. But your ayes are red hot, focusing on State House.
No, Nero, No. You are just a small fly in this game. You are just a pawn being handled day and night by US and its allies to reverse the gains of our independence. But you see Nero, this country is bigger than mere grandstanding. This country was born out of the liberation struggle. This country was born from the blood and life of men, women and children, some of whom died for it and still remain unburied in the bushes in Zimbabwe, Zambia, Mozambique and beyond.
Some of them still lie entombed in shallow graves and their bones could be knocking against each other in anger and disgust that you, a young boy still milking behind the ears, could be used against them.
You boycotted the Heroes and Defence Forces holidays, yet these are the men and women, who brought independence and freedom to the country that has raised you.
Your actions are tantamount to defecating on their graves. And, you have no shame, to think you can override the outcome of an election you lost. An election you challenged in court and lost in a televised hearing. This is utterly stupid. You were offered dialogue you refused. You want to dictate terms and conditions. Like seriously, Nero? Wear your right shoes.
Sisi Piri; Seeking
comfort at the gaoler’s
The jailhouse is no comfort zone! The gaoler will tell you straight and square, so if you swindle, thieve, siphon or find your hand by any other means in the public coffers, do not yelp for special treatment.
Given, it is a constitutional right to seek comfort even when we have sunk to our lowest rung, but when those who deny others, pensioners for that matter, of their comfort in old age by snatching miserly morsels of bread from their hands mid-air to their mouths, ask the gaoler for mattresses, among other comforts, we get angry.
We are told sister Piri, as Prisca Mupfumira was known in her close circles is demanding too much luxury behind bars.
Yes, she has not yet been convicted, but it could be her insatiable quest for swag that could have led to her alleged pilferage of public funds.
And Piri is very strong and daring. We all remember her managing to pull a smile from the SkyWalk in Mutarazi, at those dizzy heights, where very few women could have moved a lip.
We think she so loves highs; high life, high quality clothes, high bank balances, high quality rings and all indeed high everything. That defines her.
We are told even her date is also a high someone, who is into banking and ordinarily resident outside the country. Sisi Piri was putting her money, where?
Does this ring a bell dear reader? If the story is true, Sisi Piri, captured a bank, by capturing its most influential person.
Being single, Sisi Piri could have known how best to use her body to learn the art of money laundering. It is called speed-dating.
Finally, can Police Commissioner General Godwin Matanga explain how the police officer investigating Sisi Piri, was transferred to Karoi? For God’s sake, it raises more questions than answers when such a transfer occurs.
We just hope the good Commissioner General is not being played a back one. The fight against corruption then becomes a joke.
The promotion could not have come at this particular time. No! But again we are not police, all we can do is question, question and question.