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Tendai Rupapa Senior Reporter

FIRST LADY Auxillia Mnangagwa yesterday held a second educative engagement with men in Harare and Chitungwiza where resolutions were made to curb domestic violence, early child marriages and drug abuse, among many other ills that are tearing families apart.

The first such meeting took place in 2019, but could not be held over the past two years owing to Covid-19 restrictions which did not allow large gatherings.

Yesterday’s meeting sought to highlight issues affecting men, identify causes of Gender-based Violence (GBV), issues causing gender imbalances and proffer solutions and inspire and equip men with knowledge and skills to face the challenges of the world.

The First Lady will take the men’s conference to all the country’s provinces.

During the gathering held at aquatic complex, the mother of the nation spoke candidly against male chauvinism and abuse of power by men at the occasion that was attended by diplomats, Deputy Minister of Youth, Sport, Art and Recreation Tino Machakaire, traditional chiefs, Ministers of State, Chitungwiza acting Mayor and Harare acting mayor among other Government officials and men from all walks of life.

Also represented was Padare/Enkundleni Men’s Forum on Gender, UNAids/UN Women, Msasa project, the Adult rape clinic and ZRP victim friendly Unit. Bulawayo-based group IYASA presented a tear-jerking performance titled; “Stop gender-based violence”, which highlighted the pain women endured at the hands of men.

Mozambican Ambassador to Zimbabwe Mr Elias Paulo delivers a solidarity message on behalf of SADC diplomats who attended a male engagement conference organised by First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa in Chitungwiza yesterday. – Pictures: John Manzongo

This was followed by a woman who portrayed a female that was stressed by her husband who bashed her, denied the right to work, had no access to food and money and was exposed to sexually-transmitted infections. So appealing was the woman to all senses that she drove a large part of the audience to tears, including men.

A moment of silence was then observed for those who passed on due to gender-based violence. The men roundly agreed to some resolutions.

Some of the resolutions from the meeting included the need to give traditional leaders the constitutional mandate to promote sound family relations, and to offer free legal representation for men who fall victim to GBV.

Promotion of more stop centres that deal with GBV in Harare Province, free men’s centre for health and mental health promotion in the society, couples urged to engage in peaceful dispute resolution and men to open up on issues affecting them. Men were implored to seek health services for hypertension and prostate cancer and expressed hope that children would be born free of HIV by 2030.

Iyasa drama group performs during a male engagement conference organised by First Lady Auxillia Mnangagwa in Chitungwiza yesterday

The resolutions also included the need for the First Lady to continue to teach the nation Ubuntu/Hunhu through her educational programmes.

In order to end AIDS, the men said there was need to look at GBV as a driver to HIV and AIDS, emphasis on parent to child communication, men allowing their wives to be involved in economic activities, need for parental guidance on children issues to do with relationships, drug barons to be arrested and given lengthy prison terms and awareness programmes in schools on drugs.

The First Lady said she had been prompted to hold the conference by the surge in domestic violence cases and the need to foster peace in the homes.

“Allow me to humble myself before you as a mother as we discuss issues to do with family. The order of respect stipulates that women and all family members respect men as the heads of families as you know that our country puts men in front.

“Allow me to speak before you as a mother and as a woman discussing issues that affect us as women. We are overwhelmed and that is why I convened this meeting. The way we are living is difficult for us as women and this is mostly caused by menfolk. Even though women also do the same, it is a small percentage compared to men. We are here because men are the heads of the household and Zimbabwe is a patriarchal country therefore the type of leadership they bring into the home affects their children. Children then take the behaviour learnt from their parents into the community. Therefore, men’s role in the society is of paramount importance as they are role models and leaders. Today we are here to come up with solutions on challenges which start from the home and spill into the societal set up,” she said.

Amai Mnangagwa decried the surge in drug abuse saying: “Our children have now fallen prey to drug abuse and addiction. They have thrown away their future in exchange of harmful substances which are hazardous to their health. That coupled with alcoholism has made our youths derailed and I have come to plead that let’s live in peace and stop violence.”

Musician Nicholas Zacharia performs during a male engagement conference organised by Amai Mnangagwa in Chitungwiza yesterday

On child marriages, she sought to know who among parents initiated the move to marry off underage girls.

“On the marrying off of young girls, who initiates that discussion between the father and mother?”

In response, men accused women of knowing the way their daughters behaved. But women would have none of it, saying men often married off their daughters in search of money to splash on beer.

“Our husbands are more powerful than us such that what they say goes even if they claim not to have money for fees and suggest that a daughter be married off, their wishes will be granted. Amai, we urge you to address our youths who are cohabiting in universities and colleges,” said one discussant to applause.

The First Lady spoke strongly against child marriages. “As men, you are the heads of households and we respect you. But why are you not respecting us as your wives. Respect us as well so that there won’t be violence in the home. Men have abandoned their families for small houses neglecting their roles and families at home. Allow your spouses to work as well so that you assist each other in raising your children. Let us support each other as husband and wife and everything will fall into place. You children are said to be cohabiting at universities and colleges. After college what then happens? Does it just end there?”

In response, a youth blamed this on parents who did not accord their children enough resources which leads to children dating elderly men to make ends meet. Another boy chipped in: “In some cases our parents do not know where to end their stories because when I hear my mother was married at 16, will I fear impregnating a 16year-old?”

The First Lady said children who failed to bring back certificates after years of learning only to turn up pregnant caused parents a lot of stress.

“What about drugs? Whose children are abusing drugs? As men, what are you saying about this? Are you sitting down with these children discussing? We want to come up with an agreement, but where are you children getting these drugs?” In response, the gathering agreed on the need to form drug section committees in the communities. The gathering pleaded with the First Lady to use her 575 hotline to report anonymous calls on those who were selling drugs.

The First Lady said the number can be used since she works with police as stakeholders of her national gender-based violence call center-575 so they will reach the police.

The First Lady informed the gathering that the Government had set up a committee to look into the drug issues at provincial level and urged the communities to work with the committee. A representative from the Ministry of Women Affairs, Gender, Community, Small and Medium Enterprises Development said as a ministry they frowned against GBV.

“We say no to gender-based violence and we are pleased with the programme that Amai has brought so that we discuss as men. We have one stop centre in Epworth and it is our wish that these centres will increase. So far this year, 118 survivors of GBV accessed services at this centre and these figures show that as men we are wreaking havoc in the homes. We are saying no to violence in the homes because if there was no violence we would not have high numbers of women coming for help at our centres. If people are idle, the incidence of violence increases and as a ministry we have projects that help people to be self-sufficient.

The First Lady also through her Angel of Hope Foundation is initiating various self-help projects in communities. Men, love your wives and allow them to also work and use their hands. Thank you Amai for this colourful platform,” he said.

The Office of the First Lady recently launched a toll-free 575 line to tackle GBV, highlighting the mother of the nation’s concern for the welfare of the people by fostering peace in the home and communities.

The First Lady, concerned with ever rising cases of gender-based violence in Zimbabwe, launched a gender-based toll free line 575 which is operated directly from her office.

The main thrust of this initiative is to eradicate any forms of violence relating to gender and foster peace in the domestic set up. Since the inception of the gender-based violence toll free line, statistics gathered show that women are mostly victims with men being perpetrators.

Most of these problems stem from conceptual problems such as stress, lack of awareness in handling conflict, drug abuse, alcoholism and economic factors. In a bid to address this, she partnered with several stakeholders.

Chief Chikwaka, Mr Murambiwa Bungu, said men needed to be engaged so that they do not boast even when they do wrong.

“Our idiom says even when it gets tough, no child can offer his mother for marriage. It is our way of life which brings up the realisation that mothers are important. Even if it gets tough, pregnancy cannot be terminated through a cough. This is the image you should always have,” he said.

The chief spoke glowingly of mothers before breaking into a song called “Amai Ndinovada”, urging all men to sing the song in their homes for their wives.

Chief Chikwaka added that as traditional leaders they were against gender based violence in homes. He praised the First Lady for traversing the length and breadth of the country promoting good morals and culture.

Mozambican Ambassador to Zimbabwe Elias Paulo Cigarro expressed gratitude to the mother of the nation for extending an invitation to diplomats from the Sadc region to be part of the proceedings yesterday.

“As we are gathered here, we are reminded that if you protect women, you protect a child, a community, a nation and the world against harm. You become a peacemaker and a beacon of hope for humanity, peace and challenges on a daily basis. This process starts from each one of us and it’s only then that we can truly make a difference,” he said.

He praised the First Lady for her philanthropic engagements through her Angel of Hope Foundation.

Mrs Jane Kalweo and Mrs Redah Manga represented UNAIDS/UNWomen and thanked the First Lady for coming up with the men’s conference.

Other groups like the Youth Advocacy Zimbabwe, Msasa Project, Padare, National Aids Council, Churches and the provincial medical director delivered solidarity messages. Entertainment was provided by Nicholas “Madzibaba” Zakaria, IYASA, Albert Nyathi, the Police band and the University of Zimbabwe.