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She appealed to be advised as to what she should do to help her friend.
The concerned woman wrote: “My friend seems to be on the path to destruction since she tested HIV positive in 2007.
“She was so devastated and cried a lot for some weeks on end. She refused to take further counselling. She only disclosed to me and told me after sometime that she had resolved that she was going to live.
“Yes live, but she was on a mission to spread the virus to all men who dared ask her out. She targets men in managerial positions as she is good looking and still has an appealing structure,” said the woman.
She further went on to state that her friend uses protection for the first few days and as the relationship progresses the two get comfortable and usually the man asks that they stop the use of protection to which the woman readily agrees.
“My friend said she is not the one who suggests that they stop using condoms but she gladly takes the offer when given. She has a diary where she has a list of managers she has taken to bed without protection and she calls these “anaguva”. The list is shockingly long and she said she would not take ARVs herself as she does not care. She seems to know a lot of about the virus and said that by now she should be highly infectious,” she added.
The friend said that men should be wary of curvy women because at times they use the eyes to “test” the virus and on seeing those curves they assume one is free from HIV which is unfortunate.
“My friend is curvy and she said that is her strongest bait as men just ‘look at her and fall for the virus’ she said in her own words. She has ticked the name of those whom she suspects are now ill after having dated her,” she said.
It appears the above woman needs serious counselling because in her vicious cycle, she should be counselled to know that she can pass back the virus to those she loves. She can infect a sister, brother or even her own child in the long run in the multiple concurrent partnerships that she has embarked on.
Although it is a crime punishable by a sentence of up to 20 years, people with such attitudes do not seem to give a hoot.
Could forums where people living positively meet highlight this and chart the way forward as to how people acting like this can be helped. It’s not everyone who tests positive who goes onto a destructive path. Some people decide to stop having an intimate life after testing HIV positive. Others disclose their status and find partners who are also living positively.
Dr Iris Shiripinda interviewed several people living in Netherlands after they tested HIV positive and what the future held for them.
One woman said that she had stopped having any sexual relationship.
“I do not have an intimate life. I do not want to,” she said.
This was more from a point of pain and hurt that one came to such a conclusion. The woman said she had several relationships before she learnt that she had HIV.
After her diagnosis she went on to have an affair with a man and at first used condoms consistently. They later relaxed and stopped and she became pregnant and it turned out to be a mistake.
She suspected that the man responsible for the pregnancy was HIV positive because he used to take drugs  secretly. The man spoke very positively about HIV too. The woman said she decided to stop seeing the man because she does not want to infect the baby with HIV. She is not seeing him anymore. They have kept contact only by phone.
Another woman from Kwekwe I spoke to who lives positively said since the death of her husband six years ago she has decided to practise secondary virginity.
“Since my husband died I have decided to keep myself pure. I have not had a relationship since then. Right now my concern is to have my boy in Form 3 finish his university, that is my focus,” she said.
“I would not love to give anyone the virus even if I was infected by my late husband. I forgave him long back when he was still alive and I now have a different purpose in life not chasing after men,” she said.
In her book “Facing HIV in The Netherlands”, Dr Shiripinda quotes another woman who lives with HIV. She has changed her intimate life. She cannot conduct relationships the way she used to do.
“Your first court of justice is your conscience. If you want to be judged, you do not go to court. The man-made court is the second court, but your conscience is the first court of justice.
“When you do something that is not right, your conscience will judge you. So if you go and sleep with a man and you do not know whether he is positive, and you infect him, what have you done? What does your conscience say, so avoid those things. I do not want to talk about it I shy away. I stay away. I pray that I will meet an HIV positive, a real person, who can say: ‘I am positive,’ then I can say ‘okay’.”
It appears the underlying cause why people fear to disclose is mainly rejection.
Dr Shiripinda said the desire to have a family for people living with HIV is undermined by fear. She said another concern is when to tell their other children of their HIV status.
“Another issue is to identify the right moment to inform the child of their positive status (parents) of them,” .
Dr Shiripinda said it is not easy to inform children, as it has to be done at the right time.
Mr Sheperman Mutinhima from Hurungwe said he had seen relatives and friends who had tested HIV positive and had continued to live recklessly.
“I have lost a brother and sister to HIV. My brother only changed his behaviour when he was ill. When he got well he went on a rampage and said he was out to kill all he met,” he said.
“My brother would sleep even with schoolgirls after offering them money. He was not selective, he even bedded known hookers for a fee without using any protection,” he added.
The brother is now deceased after having acquired several communicable diseases.
“My brother got TB, and had a running stomach that could not be contained. His private parts oozed some puss. He was hospitalised briefly at Chidamoyo Hospital and when he was discharged he got a terrible headache. We took him back and it was diagnosed as cryptoccocal meningitis. He got a skin rash and blisters on the mouth and it appeared everything started to fail. He had renal failure and died in hospital the same week,” he said.
Mutinhima said his sister was not in the same boat as his brother but she kept being re-infected by the husband who worked at a fishery in Gatshe Gatshe.
“My brother-in-law stayed away from home for weeks on end and every time he came back home, my sister would get a sexually transmitted disease. So for her she suffered because of the husband,” he said.
He said the woman died when she had recurrent TB.
“My sister suffered another bout of TB. The first was in 2006 and she was treated and got well. When she fell ill again, she refused to take the medication and she died shortly leaving three minors, children who now live with us, since the husband lives at the fisheries,” he said.
May people living positively be guided accordingly that it is their lives too they peddle when they go out onto infection sprees.
May everyone have a working conscience so as to live as humans?

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