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Alick Macheso

Isdore Guvamombe Reflections
Back in the village, in the land of milk honey and dust or Guruve, anyone who blinds themselves from facts always learns through accident.
The last week of April brought to Zimbabwe two free-for-all circuses — one political and another social.
The nasty divorce of sungura musician Alick Macheso opened a Pandora’s Box on the bedroom issues which the talented singer had kept under wraps.
Then there was the political drama brought by political rivals in MDC-T.

This villager will start with Macheso or call him Cheso Power like his legion of fans would do. The guy is an enigma, small in stature and explosive on stage.
On his divorce, this village wordsmith is only limited by journalistic ethics from being explicit. But hey, do village elders not say the more a monkey climbs up a tree the more it exposes its genitals? Macheso is a man many men wanted to understand how he managed two wives in modern-day society.

Over the past four years or so, Macheso had become the envy, albeit secretly, of many men who have kept their second wives a secret, while Macheso managed to bring his together. But the melting pot of his marriage exploded, throwing everything to the public court of opinion.

His second wife Tafadzwa, this villager read in the newspapers, complained about the musician’s small bamboo stick. She likened it to a mopane tree worm, dora or icimbi, in the process insulting herself, too. (if that is true).

Back in the village every man brags about his bamboo stick no matter how tiny and in the village, too, manhood is not having the biggest bamboo stick between your legs but the ability to use it.

Did Macheso not father two kids with Tafadzwa using the same worm? Whether it’s true or false, the Macheso family should have found a better way to part, given their social standing, but they chose to give us the melodrama.

Yonder in Europe, they say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. In the village, divorces are handled by elders to avoid such dramatic leakages. Village elders say no matter how far one tries to urinate, the last drops fall by your feet.

You never come out of divorce smart. Both Macheso and Tafadzwa are soiled somehow, no matter how they try to smear each other with the dirt. The whole drama about paternity tests and maintaining the children has not done any good to both parties.

Of course, Macheso’s first wife Nyadzisai had the last laugh. Her name even becomes handy and prophetic!

Mr Tsvangirai

Then there was another messy divorce, this time a political one. The Movement for Democratic Change-Tsvangirai, shortened to MDC-T to simplify it for villagers like this one, is in a dirty divorce.

Since its formation in 1999, MDC-T leader Morgan Tsvangirai has divorced with two secretary generals, Tendai Biti and Welshman Ncube, leaving his party teetering on the brink of collapse. This villager does not want to go into how many women Tsvangirai has divorced. That is subject for another instalment.

The party has indeed become a circus in which the president, Tsvangirai and his estranged Secretary General Tendai Biti have become the chief clowns.
The party has become a headless chicken. When a president is suspended by his own party then you know things have really fallen apart.

The mishap in the MDC, the movement for disaster, has left the British and their allies scampering for cover with shame and disbelief for they have discovered that the party they created has done exactly the opposite of the international image they had wanted to portray. We in the village have not forgotten that the party was created for the purpose of removing President Mugabe, who today has the last laugh.

The circus in MDC-T is that they are blaming everything on President Mugabe, the Central Intelligence Organisation, ZANU-PF and the MDC led by Welshman Ncube.
Nothing on their own shortcomings. How silly! How stupid! The messy divorce has exposed the greed in MDC-T and the lies about democracy, good governance, accountability and freedom of expression.

Tsvangirai himself has been touted by silly Europe as a democratic politician, someone who believes in change. How can he like change and hate it at the same time?
It is clear he went into office for power and self-gain. He has turned against those who have challenged him, and beaten them even.

Europe should be ashamed. Europe created a monster in Tsvangirai.
Europe created a dictator. Europe created a master of violence, for, is Europe itself not violent and dictatorial? Europe, Europe, Europe!