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They are also smelling not of their adulterous porcupine mating but also reek strongly of a Western odour that obviously goes up in the noses of Zimbabwean people.

This past weekend could never have given us something that sets wagging any busier. It showed us the true colours — or something close to that — of Evan Mawarire, that pastor behind the so-called #ThisFlag campaign.

He angered his followers after a video went viral of him insulting those calling for him to come back home — and fight the Government for them, as they had hoped he was out to do.

Only he has other ideas.

Now that he is way up that ladder, as someone once sang, he doesn’t remember the names of the people who helped him up.

He is currently in America where he has prospects of staying — if South Africa where he has been staying in an apartment in uptown Sandton, wont do for him

To him, those who helped him on his way up the ladder, are haters.

Evan Mawarire

Yes, that’s what he called them!

In the short clip widely circulating on social media Mawarire is seen cavorting with a young woman and the unidentified woman asks him: “Do you have anything to say to the haters?”

Mr Mawarire in a contrived American accent replies: “Yah, man, like you so quick to tell me to come back home, but you can’t tell Bob (President Mugabe) to go away.” To which the woman responds with a delighted squeal.

The clip was met with anger and contempt from social media users, most of whom had taken to believing that Mawarire was a kind of messiah or Moses.

Some were even thinking of him in the mould of John the Baptist (pun intended).

So the flak started flying.

“Fake pastor, better trust those who have in the trenches!!” wrote Bobby Supiya on Facebook.

He added: “Pastor Mawarire has got a degree in poor acting. He should be given a non Oscar for his fake American accent. KKKKKKKK”

Niaa Kirk wrote “ . . . when I look back at all the insults I got when I went against this dude. In the words of DJ Khaled ‘Congratulations you played yourself’”.

Another unhappy follower, Nicola-Grace Hove, scoffed at Mr Mawarire’s haughtiness.

She wrote, “So this is what is happening behind the scenes of the #ThisFlag movement or (movie) if I should call it. From distancing himself from the role of a leader of the movement to calling us the followers and those who dare interrogate his actions and decisions as the founder and leader of the movement HATERS.

“It seems like all humility, responsibility and sincerity initially displayed in his movement has been thrown out of the window upon receiving asylum in the US. (I’m beginning to think maybe this was part of the strategy). Now everyone including you is chanting ‘play your part, play your part, heee it’s not about Evan, heee what what.’ Dumping the millions of Zimbabweans who followed your leadership and supported your cause . . . now we are suddenly haters for questioning the future of that which we as millions of Zimbabweans invested time, heart, emotion, data hashtagging the movement you began, passion, wages, business, working days, fuel driving to see, support you in court amongst other resources. People broke off shackles and supported and prayed for you, they set aside their fears risking their lives for you and now you abandon them in the middle of nowhere. You have clearly forgotten all this. May the Lord almighty help us indeed. Here we were convinced that the Lord had sent us a true leader who will lead us out of this poverty, fear and pain as a nation. We were so convinced you genuinely represented the millions of Zimbabweans yearning for change and now all I see are snapchats, invitations to fancy dinners (talkshows) in the US and fame-rising chete! But it’s okay . . . Biggest lesson — Trust in God and Him alone. Munhu anokurasisa. #ThisAsylum #ThisFlag.”

A critic of the pastor, Kerina Mujati said: “I never took a liking to Evan and his fraudulent ways, yet nonetheless he managed to con political novices. When I shared my opinion I got abused, my children and parents . . . Here in his words he is dissing those who saw him as their Moses.

“Those who anchored his ego to be in USA or South Africa are suddenly ‘haters’. How the once self proclaimed #hatichatyi, #hatichadi? holy man is telling his followers off! Evan the snob, trying to sound posh yet the dude had no 1 penny to his name only to manipulate and give false hope to the gullible Zimbabwean people using their struggles for his own selfish gains.”

By yesterday, he had posted a somewhat apologetic video whose main message appeared to be that people must not look up to him alone — and that they are serving Zimbabwe, not him.

What a ‘messiah’?

He mentioned the offending video in passing saying it should not distract Zimbabweans from forming their own groups such as #ThisFlagYouth that had been recently formed.

His message is clear: I’m done and if you can force me further, damn you!

But in the eyes of many Evan has just lost his virginity.

#MatingPorcupines

Morgan Tsvangirai

That was the hilarious description of one observer of the relationship between Morgan Tsvangirai and Joice Mujuru and their political outfits as the two showed at a rally in Gweru over the weekend.

It will take a good natural wild observer, or better a follower of the National Geographic to know just how porcupines go about this act.

But you can picture the scene of these two small spiky animals gingerly drawing to each other making sure their natural defences against the enemy do not spring up to ward off the partner — and perhaps in the very act the gingerliness has to be maintained lest any excitement ends in injury mutual or otherwise.

But it is an interesting symbolism.

We will see how it will consummate.

But, by way of my main point, there is nothing much really to expect from this uncomfortable union.

Bhora Musango and the foreplay of a certain General may have given us 2008, but then 2013 intervened.

Joice Mujuru

Throughout the inclusive Government Joice Mujuru was working hand in glove with Tsvangirai — including in opposing elections which had to be precipitated by a court action of one Harare man, Jealous Mawarire, who ironically happens to be the same Mujuru’s spokesman.

The point is, the unfaithfulness of Mai Mujuru could have worked better if she remained in Zanu-PF.

Now that she is out, they are mutually naked.

They are also smelling not of their adulterous porcupine mating, but also reek strongly of a Western odour that obviously goes up in the noses of Zimbabwean people.

That way, their fate is sealed.