The man who banks for the nation made some noise last week. Not being economists, we are still digesting what he said and wondering if it makes any sense at all.
All we know is that the rates on the parallel market are jumping. And talk of coupons is not inspiring us. And the transport woes are not making the situation any better either. So we really have to wonder at what point that said gentleman will honour his word.
Prophets and lunatics
I used to think the only difference between a prophet and a mad man is that the first has followers. But recent events are now making me reconsider. Could the truth be that lunatics rather than fanatics follow prophets?
Because seriously when it comes to the hatching video, it is not the gibberish spouting man who needs to be committed. He is clearly woke, and counting on the lunacy of those around him to carry the day.
It is all those nameless faces, reverently attending to that hogwash that need to be carted off in straight jackets and locked away somewhere for their own good. Fortunately, zealotry is no crime.
Otherwise nothing less than capital punishment would do for that lot and many others who also follow blindly.
Someone tries to justify their rapt piety as being bred by their lack of Shona language skills. So they would not know that they are being subjected to a whole heal of nonsense and nonsensical words.
But is that not the whole point of speaking in tongues in the first place? To befuddle those around into believing that you have been transposed into a higher realm. For if the idea was to talk to some higher being, surely the tongues would seize a person when they are alone and not wait for witnesses who have no clue as to what is being said.
Marry Jezebel in haste and repent at our leisure
The tables have turned and now it is men who are having to put up with whatever their wives choose to dish out, pun fully intended.
The women are out to fully utilise what their mamas gave them and no marriage ritual is going to stand in their way.
That is the way it is and men have to deal with it. It looks like for men discovering a partner’s cheating is now a question of when, not if.
As a fellow at the bar said last week, “Men will have to be strong if the institution of marriage is to survive this plague of cheating wives.”
So, a man decides to bring the whole world into his marriage, hoping that just because we hate prophets, we will be on his side. Tell him he needs to change his poison of choice and drink something milder, like ciders.
Because honestly except for the laughter value, why should we concern ourselves with the willing buyer willing seller threesome? The wisdom at the bottom of our bottles tells us that we are not privy to the real story and anything carefully doled into the public domain is an attempt to manipulate us.
Of course there are a few fanatics on either side who will wade into the war defend or revile someone.
These are the ones who come in guns blazing, riding on the horse of historical anger and trample all facts of the present case in their quest to strike at the enemy. For us that is just more material to laugh at as we wet our throats. Keeping them coming bar man!
There is a betrayed woman too
The story of the kissing cousins left us in stitches. After we gave thanks to the universe that we have productive work to occupy us.
So we would never have the time and energy to push our snouts into other people’s business to the level of clandestinely recording an encounter.
Where is the long arm of the law? Last time I checked it was illegal to create and distribute pornography in this country. So those busybody neighbours should be arrested and charged.
We cannot allow people to destroy happy marriages so wantonly. For that guy indicated that until he received that unwelcome awakening, he had been blissfully married.
Moving onto the issue of outrage. It looks like most public sympathy lies with the cuckolded husband.
But the cousin is also a married man. Why does it look like no one cares about his betrayed wife? She too is in a marriage with a cheating partner people.
But I guess there is no need to belabour this point. The women seem to be evening the score just fine.
One for the road
If it was not so tragic, we would have laughed at the story of the man who attempted to shoot the woman who had broken up with him, failed, turned the gun on himself and once again failed.
One has to wonder if the gentleman is capable of finding the target in any circumstances. Could that lack of accuracy be the reason why the woman had decided to get rid of him in the first place?