The boy child is also under siege and has become a target of paedophiles and an easy target of both physical and sexual abuse

The boy child is also under siege and has become a target of paedophiles and an easy target of both physical and sexual abuse

Ruth Butaumocho Gender Forum
A few days ago, I was moving around town just after 6pm when a young boy barely in his teens, approached me stealthily from behind just as I was about to cross the robot. Having heard so many stories about how people, mainly women, are manhandled by street kids in the city centre, I momentarily froze with fear, while thinking of a strategy to deal with my seemingly dangerous situation.

Noticing how apprehensive I had become, the lad reassured me that I was not in any danger, but that he wanted a dollar for bus fare back home in Epworth.

“Moms hapana iripo, steady, ndiri kungoda dhombi chete, (Relax, I just want to ask for a dollar),” he coaxed me while edging closer to my handbag.

As I was dipping my hand into the handbag to get a dollar, I noticed that the young man had rash all over his body, accompanied by a pungent and offensive smell that was coming off his body. He must have sensed my disgust, because he immediately stepped back a bit, grabbed the dollar and started walking away.

I couldn’t help but notice that he was also having difficulties in walking.
I didn’t need a doctor’s diagnoses or a confirmation from anyone that the little poor boy had a sexually transmitted infection of some sort that had gone for weeks or months without being attended to.

He probably was a victim of sexual abuse.
Sexual abuse of minors has been around since the dawn of civilisation.

And when the practice started being exposed in the communities, mainly in the villages, it was swept under the carpet and given other names to dignify the horrific and demeaning practices.

It was only about 30 years or so ago when people began talking about it openly, even though there were some reservations on the issue.
The first issues that were reported were mainly sexual abuse of girls who were vulnerable both at home and other institutions.

However, when the scourge swept through Zimbabwe more than 20 years ago, lot of attention was then given to girls because they were perceived to be more vulnerable while little or no attention was given to boys.

Organisations across in Zimbabwe have been focusing on curbing abuse of girls, giving little or no attention to the boy child, on the assumption that the boy child is rarely a target of sexual abuse except in extreme circumstances.

But that is no longer the case, as the boy child is also under siege and has become a target of paedophiles and an easy target of abuse.
Over the years people have been running with the myth that men are not victims of sexual abuse but perpetrators of this heinous act, due to socialisation instilled in them while growing up.

We were told that men were aggressors and could do everything and be expected to endure anything that comes their way.
But we all know that boys are not men, but merely children who need protection from sexual predators that roam the world.

They are weaker and more vulnerable than those who sexually exploit them, who use size, strength and knowledge to manipulate or coerce boys into unwanted sexual experience.

A few years ago, a spokesperson for Just for Children, an organisation that deals with street kids, actually noted with great concern that sexual abuse of boys was rampant and was usually perpetrated by people in positions of authority, such as teachers or coaches. The perpetrators in all these groups use whatever means available to reduce resistance, such as attention, special privilege, money or gifts, promises or bribes even outright threats.

Abusers use their age or authority to satisfy their own needs without regard to those of their victims. Seemingly unbreakable bonds are broken when treachery is introduced into these relationships. Consequently, many sexually abused boys grow up distrustful, considering people dishonest, malevolent, and undependable, according to psychologists.

Psychologists also point out that boys often become frightened of emotional connection and isolate themselves. This may alternate with merging with loved ones so they hardly know where they end and others begin.

Dr Richard Gartner states that confusing affection with abuse, desire with tenderness, sexually abused boys often become men who have difficulty distinguishing among sex, love, nurturance, affection, and abuse. They may experience friendly interpersonal approaches as seductive and manipulative. On the other hand, they may not notice when exploitative demands are made on them – they’ve learned to see these as normal and acceptable, especially when they are perpetrated by someone they trust.

Only a few weeks ago, a teacher from Inyathi was sentenced to 29 years in jail after he was found guilty of sodomising 10 boys from a Grade Seven class on 15 occasions that he had been entrusted with.

Two of the sodomised boys were permanently disabled and would struggle to hold their stools as they suffered damaged sphincters after the sexual attacks.

It’s disturbing to think about what it means to a boy when he’s sexually abused by someone he trusts, as what happened with the innocent 10 boys who had so much trust in their teacher.

They were actually at pains to describe how the abuse took place, because it is something that happened when they least expected it. Giving evidence, one of the boys said he was too shocked to even tell anyone that he had been sexually molested because he had so much trust in the teacher, who was a relief staff.

Although the teacher has been locked away for the next 29 years, there is no doubt that the boys and a lot more others who have suffered in silence will be traumatised for the rest of their lives.

What they encountered was brutal. These were not free, joyous expressions of erotic passion, but callous acts of abuse that were perpetrated against very trusting and naïve boys.

They were left feeling empty, lonely and probably felt that society, especially the school, did not do much to protect them against the schoolteacher. There is no doubt that they will dread the idea of pursuing relationships in the same way that abused girls and women feel when they want to get into a relationship.

Sexual abuse is the most demeaning form of maltreatment for anyone and should not be tolerated.
It humiliates the individual, is psychologically traumatising with long- term effects on the victim. There is need to protect both boys and girls from abuse by putting in place mechanisms that discourage abuse of children.

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