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Catherine Murombedzi HIV Walk
Below I publish some of the e-mails that have been sent throughout the year. The writers speak of their fear of rejection, their giving up, the need to hook up with some people in the same boat as them and more importantly the need to carry on.Fear of rejection
Thank you for replying to my e-mails always and for calling me “my child”. I feel so loved. As I told you in the previous emails, I am completing my Honours Degree in Pharmacy at a university in Cape Town. I have had a relationship with someone from the hospital where I did my internship.

We have not had a sexual relationship. I am Zimbabwean and he is South African. I tested HIV positive three months ago when I took the test out of interest because my boyfriend is serious and is talking of marriage. I have not told him that I took an HIV test. He has suggested that we will one day go for the test together.

I am scared, so scared because, I already know my status. I could have got the infection from my boyfriend back home, with whom I had a four year relationship and we discarded using protection. I have not told anyone, my parents will be devastated as I am the first born. As for my boyfriend, I am afraid he will leave me. Is it possible that he will still love me the way I am? Should I tell him that I am HIV positive? I am getting crazy mum. Please reply as always.

Hope

The last thing I had lost is hope, and I would like to let others know that even though sometimes we might feel the world is going to come down on us, there will always be someone we can count on. Testing HIV positive made me realise that material wealth can’t change my status. I have money and had many women but money can’t change my status. I now have to live with medication and it’s a problem as I forget at times.

Anxious
I have been to ante-natal clinic recently and took an HIV test as a routine. I have three children with my husband. I was and am still shattered that I tested HIV positive. I have been faithful all my life. Will my baby be okay, will my child live like my other children. Does the prevention of mother to child transmission of HIV programme help? I am getting mad. Can I get in touch with a mother who has gone through the programme?

A day at a time
I hope anyone who has tested HIV positive and is going to read this will feel like your life has ended and wonder how will you function with the new status. Despite the setback something like this really makes you put your life into perspective. I have put my house in order and now appreciate each day as God-given.

Grateful
The biggest thing was telling the person whom I had fallen in love with that I was HIV positive. There was a risk that he could walk away, but to my surprise he was so supportive and understanding. I am grateful for my partner, we are going to tie the knot in December. If you are in Ndola, Zambia, you are invited.

Determined
I’m Maria aged 24 now. I was born with HIV. I don’t know how many types of medication I have taken in my life. Some people tell me that people like me shouldn’t even be on this earth, but I don’t care what they say I’m a human being and I deserve to be heard. I’m really scared to have a boyfriend because I know that I can give him HIV. I want to be married and have kids like any other woman. I have just completed my degree programme and am lucky to have got a job with the bank I served as an intern. Do you know any groups with pals born like me?

Am I at risk
My husband is cheating on me. He has secretly married someone from his workplace. Am I able to sue this woman for loss of love? I am not in a position to demand that we use condoms because my husband says they irritate him. Does this not put me at risk of getting infected with HIV and other sexual transmitted diseases?

Happily married
I am HIV positive and am a mother of three and happily married. I do enjoy reading your articles they speak directly to me.

Relocated
I am an HIV positive man and in my 50s. I have been HIV positive since 2003. I was living in London and now based here. I will soon run out of the medication I brought. I am looking for a good private doctor to manage me.
Can you recommend one? I can afford the fees, etc. I read your weekly column in The Herald every Thursday. Thanks and keep us informed.

Forgiven
Thanks Mai Murombedzi. I have forgiven my husband and now feel relieved. I travelled from Kwekwe to Harare Hospital and baby had the test done. Thanks for always replying. Am pleased that after two weeks we drove back and got the results. Am on cloud nine, baby is HIV negative. Will send you pictures soon. Thanks

Scared of rejection
I have just found out that my partner is on ARVs. We have been going out for two years. I have always brought up the issue of getting tested together and he said he was clean. As I was taking out the clutter from his apartment, I saw a card written 2006 which shows that he has been on ARVs since then. I  have not confronted him for fear he will walk away. How do I tackle the issue, we have had unprotected sex and am now afraid to go and get tested.

 Discordant
I recently found out that my husband is HIV negative and I am HIV positive.
Nothing has changed though he still loves me. At one time I had asked him to consider moving out but he turned that down. We have three lovely kids, all minors. I understand there are many more people like my hubby and I. I would be pleased to meet them.

Option B+
Thank you Catherine for always bringing out the real issues. I read your article in The Herald of July 4. Maybe now we will try and go into more details on what it means to be on Option B+ which is where we are headed as a country. (Dr Angela Mushavi, National PMTCT and Pediatric HIV Care and Treatment Co-ordinator, MOHCC).

As reflected in the above emails, many people fear that they may be rejected after disclosing their HIV status. One writer is actually afraid of being sent packing if she confronts her lover that she has found out that he lied about his HIV status.

This shows the physiological trauma that HIV carries.

We have children born Code 1 (medical term for HIV positive).

They are now young adults and want to settle down. They have their aspirations but still can’t come out. There are groups dealing specifically with such issues. There is Zvandiri Positive and Pachedu Youth, to mention just a few.

A problem shared is half solved. I’m pleased to note most of the people who have communicated with me have not allowed their HIV status to get them down.

Some have furthered their education and have plans for the future. That is the way to go.

But the most important thing with positive living is acceptance, it is a new way of life.

Do not get re-infection. There are some people who are reckless and seek to spread the virus.

Be cautioned, it is a crime punishable by a 20-year jail term in Zimbabwe if one is proved to have wilfully infected the complainant.

By getting cross infections one is overloading an already laden system hence it will falter.

Take good care of your health, it’s the only one you have. Take care.

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