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Make a Difference With Bea
THERE have been so many cases of families fighting over assets when a breadwinner passes on. Many reported cases of family feuds over a deceased relative’s estate should be a lesson to many.

But alas; it does not seem as if anyone learns because we always see these cases coming up.

Recently even the family of the late global icon Nelson Mandela reportedly tore into each other over his estate despite him leaving a will. This shows challenges that can arise when the glue that holds the fort together is undone.

Madiba’s former second wife, Winnie Madikizile Mandela, who he divorced decades ago, was quoted in the media a few days ago complaining that she was left out of his will and has no access to his family home in Qunu.

Despite the fact that she was no longer married to him when he died, the ANC firebrand activist believes that she has as much right as his current wife to access his home and whatever else he owned at the time of his death.

This is despite the fact that when the two divorced, there was obviously a divorce settlement which saw both agreeing on who would walk away with what.

The complexities of this case, however, did not just involve spouses and former spouses.

Children and grandchildren of the deceased, too, were involved and wanted a piece of the pie.

I use this as a case study because the person whose estate was being contested or discussed was very prominent. In death, he remains prominent, especially now that Winnie Mandela is even alleging that the divorce was not legit. She alleges it was fraudulent; this late in the day.

The truth of the matter; no one knows. However, what is important is for people to realise the importance of planning for that day when one is no longer around to manage their own affairs.

I recently had the misfortune of encountering a widower who is denying his late wife’s son from an earlier relationship; a share of his mother’s benefits.

Imagine someone marries a woman with her own child. He says he accepts the child and goes on to have his own children with this boy’s mother. The mother dies some years later.

She had not written a will. The mansions which the mother worked hard for are the centre of the estate dispute. The widowed husband who professed to love the woman with all her baggage dumped the child she had before him and split the loot with his biological children.

Because of the legal provisions that allow a spouse access to what his or her spouse would have owned, this husband hightailed it to the bank and enjoyed the mansions while his late wife’s son remained locked out. Just imagine what a will would have meant to this boy in such a case?

This is not the only such case.

Some widows have also tried to “fix” children their husband sired with former spouses or outside of matrimony. Fathers who know they have children by different women must plan for the future.

There are just too many cases where children of wealthy and hard-working fathers suddenly find themselves in trouble because no one bothered to plan for that day when they would no longer be around. At times the wives whose hearts would have broken when their husbands have children with someone else wait to have the last laugh when the man dies.

But wait a minute. At times it is not children who suffer. It is actually the wives who suffer once their husbands are gone. It is even worse if one is a second or third wife, married after the husband has been married to someone else. That woman is constantly suffering.

For starters; there is always a tag that she has come to benefit from the man’s hard work.

Grown-up children may think the new wife may have contributed to their parents splitting. This is despite that people are responsible for the actions and decisions they make as adults.

These children will fight to ensure that the new wife gets nothing, even if she may have nursed their father in his old age and kept him company after their mother’s death or separation from him.

Just how many cases have we seen of grown-up children taking their step-mothers to court to contest whatever they would have been left by their fathers?

We have had many such cases; and high-profile too.

Even with a will in place, some adult children with their own homes and lives want to try their luck and challenge those wills.

You even wonder at times how and why a grown man or woman would behave in such a manner.

The point, however, is that where there is a will, it is much better for the widow because at least her husband would have tried to ensure that in the event of his death his spouse and the children would be catered for.

Many women have been driven out of homes by adult children that belong to their late husbands. Many children have also found themselves suffering because stepmothers and stepfathers would have forgotten their vows the minute the person they were in love with dies or even falls sick.

Not having a will in place today is a recipe for disaster which men and women must avoid. With people working hard to amass their wealth it becomes sad when in the event of death, children and loved ones begin to live like paupers.

Some relatives can trash what you would have worked for and live your children starving if you do not ensure that whatever belongs to your children is safeguarded while you are alive.

For a long time, Africans have been hesitant to draw up wills, with some saying having a will in place is a taboo and is inviting premature death upon oneself.

Truth be told, death is inevitable and each day we live, we inexorably draw closer to that moment of no return. When we keep secrets and do not own up to children we would have had; let us not think this is cleverness on our part.

We are brewing trouble for these children because the day you fail to turn up to provide for their meals and school fees, no one will provide for them. At times the kids are not even known in the family; they then have to plead their case at the graveyard, which causes fighting and more grief.

Let us make a difference by doing the right thing; which is planning for when one is no longer around.

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