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negotiations and transactions between members of the lobola-giving family and the lobola-receiving family are entered into or completed.
Therefore, African Christian couples should consummate their union following the customary marriage ceremony with clear conscience before God who created the marriage institution. The Bible, which is the basis of Christian faith and practice, does not require Christians to have Church weddings.
Before the introduction of church marriages in the 13th century, and later in the 16th century of state marriage law, the criteria for the validity of marriage in all societies were originally determined by the respective customary practices rather than by statute law. The definitions of the validity of marriage changed and developed over the centuries of European history, and the outcome of such historical and theological debates on marriage was what mission organisations and colonial authorities imposed on Africans who already had their customary marriage system in place.
The imposition of Western statutory marriage law resulted in social, legal and moral dilemmas especially for African Christian couples due to the co-existence of customary marriage and civil marriage practices and procedures.
The main source of such dilemmas was that although there was nothing explicit in the legislation to prevent the incidence and practice of traditional marriages from existing side by side with a civil marriage contract, whenever a marriage was celebrated according to either civil or church rites, the principles of African tradition were deemed no longer to apply to it, and legally and ecclesiastically, aspects of traditional marriage norms became irrelevant from the civil or church authorities’ point of view.
On the other hand, despite the introduction of the European marriage tradition Africans have rightly continued to look upon traditional marriage as a full, valid and legitimate marriage, and the required registration at the magistrates’ court or the subsequent solemnisation of marriage in Church, as just the means of satisfying the civil or church authorities.
Unfortunately, the 19th-century and early 20th-century official missionary attitude towards African customary marriage remains within the Christian churches in independent Africa despite the change in leadership from foreign missionaries to African Christians.
In the Old Testament, marriage ceremonies and celebrations were never conducted in a religious building nor officiated by a religious leader. Marriage making among the Semitic peoples was more of a social undertaking than either a religious or a civil responsibility.
All the same, the Old Testament narrators present God as being involved in such non-religious social and cultural marriage ceremonies and celebrations (Genesis 24), just as Jesus socialised with people at the marriage celebration or reception (not ceremony) of Cana as recorded in John 2:1-12.
Whatever arguments Christian proponents for Church weddings, symbols and rituals may want to generate, they cannot legitimately claim the Bible as their heritage because marriage making being a private affair required no public ceremony, religious or otherwise for its legalisation and validity.
All early Church leaders did was to encourage Christian couples to celebrate their customary marriages in God-honouring ways by excluding such things as drinking, dancing, and over-eating from their home-based marriage festivals.
It is only in the fourth century that evidence of a pastoral prayer or blessing is found in connection with the customary marriage of Christians. A pastoral marriage blessing was probably developed from the practice of a pastor when he went to congratulate the Christian couple at their home when a marriage feast was celebrated. The domestic prayer was intended for the groom and bride that they would have offspring.
Hence, it was always offered in a couple’s bedroom. Although Christian couples may have appreciated the presence and participation of their pastor as a guest at the end of their customary marriage feasts, the validity of marriage was still wholly vested in the performance of the customary ceremony and not in a pastoral blessing.
As late as the ninth century, Pope Nicholas I stated that the validity of marriage was established by customary marriage characterised by mutual consent, even if an ecclesiastical marriage blessing was lacking.
It was only in the 13th century when Thomas Aquinas argued (on the basis of his misunderstanding of the Greek word mysterion in Ephesians 5:32) that marriage was to be considered as one of the Seven sacraments (Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist, Penance, Extreme Unction, Orders and Matrimony in Roman Catholic tradition).
In Catholic tradition, these sacraments are believed to be the source of grace. Because of its understanding of marriage as a sacrament, the Catholic Church recognises only marriages contracted and conducted in a Catholic Church. It does not recognise any other form of marriage, be it customary, civil marriage or church marriage in a non-Catholic church.
Although Protestant Reformers of the 16th century rejected the Catholic theology of marriage some of them like John Calvin embraced the Catholic practice of contracting and conducting marriages in church buildings. However, the main reason for Protestant churches in Europe in conducting marriages in churches was purely for publicity.
If Africans rightly continue to consider customary marriage as the only culturally acceptable practice of establishing valid and legitimate life unions between a man and a woman, then, I would suggest that the Christian Church in Africa should recognise and register customary marriages. As a public recognition of the African customary marriage practice marriage banns, leading to the customary marriage day, should be read or published in church for three consecutive Sundays before the lobola transactions take place in accordance with the current laws of the land. The church pastor, who would need to be a marriage officer, should meet with the couple and their family representatives to explain his role and responsibility in the marriage ceremony if such a marriage union is to be recognised and registered by the state.
And on the day arranged for the customary marriage contract, the pastor and some of his church leaders should accompany the groom and some of his relatives to the bride’s village home, where lobola transactions normally take place. The church in Africa should go and participate in the celebration of customary marriage of Christian couples within the community instead of inviting them and their parents and relatives to a church building. Studies on African marriage agree that lobola is the central piece of African customary marriage.
Unfortunately, due to opportunist greed, lobola which traditionally used to be a token of appreciation to the family of the bride-giving family has been highly commercialised.
It is hoped that Christian parents will set a good example by viewing lobola not as a means of getting rich.

Women, in African society, would prefer to be in a husband-wife relationship which has been cemented by lobola transactions lest they be viewed as loose women who move from one man to another.
At the end of a Christian customary marriage ceremony, the groom and bride would sign an official marriage certificate. The date on the marriage certificate would reflect the exact date of the couple’s marriage. Up to now, African marriage certificates issued at civil (church) marriage ceremonies do not reflect the actual date of the customary marriage. Upon returning to their urban local church after the celebration of customary marriage (days or weeks at the groom’s village), the pastor should introduce the couple to the rest of the congregation as Mr. and Mrs. If the couple want to have a marriage reception, which is often the case, for friends, relatives and the rest of church members, weeks or even months after their Christian customary marriage ceremony, it should be made clear to the church and all concerned that it will be a marriage reception, and not a marriage ceremony. It is hoped African Christian couples will seek to honour God in how they go about their marriage receptions. The couple may decide to put on their wedding attire at the wedding reception. Again, the pastor should, in light of the already contracted Christian customary marriage ceremony, make a clear distinction between a marriage ceremony and a marriage reception (John 2:1-12). This practical approach to African Christian marriage is culturally, legally, and biblically relevant to modern African Christianity in African society and it is cost effective too. This new paradigm to African Christian marriage has been successfully tried at Central Baptist Church, Harare.