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Zimdancehall star Winky D extends his social advocacy through a captivating production titled Chiramu, which explores the good and bad of the practice of chiramu

Dr Sekai Nzenza On Wednesday

In the past, this Shona cultural practice of teaching responsible sexual knowledge by brother-in-law was perfectly fine. But some men abused their role of passing such knowledge. Instead of maintaining physical distance, these men crossed the boundaries and ended up in bed with the young sister or niece-in-law.

There is a beautiful girl in my cousin Reuben’s house. Mutsa is her name and she is 20-years-old. A week ago, she invited herself to Reuben’s massive new house where he lives alone because his wife and children are in Australia. Within one week, Mutsa has clearly shown a strong interest in being more than a muramu, or sister-in-law to Reuben. But Reuben is a responsible guy and has resisted anything close to a physical temptation.

In fact, he called his wife Mai Tinashe, in Australia and said, “Kamuzukuru kenyu aka muyedzo chaiwo,” meaning, this little niece of yours is a real temptress. Mai Tinashe was not amused. “What is Mutsa doing at the house? How did she even know where you live?” she asked.

A few weeks ago, Reuben met Mutsa in Harare while visiting one of Mai Tinashe’s relatives. They exchanged phone numbers. Mutsa said she would like to see the developments of the new house in Borrowdale. “I really did not think she would find the place. But she did. Now she has made herself quite comfortable in the spare room. She cooks, washes, irons and basically wants to look after me. Look, I do not mind her doing those chores for me because I am quite busy. But I think she wants to take this muramu business a bit too seriously,” Reuben said.

“What do you mean?” I asked Reuben, although I knew exactly what Reuben meant. We were sitting at the café in Borrowdale, not far from the fashionable gym and shops where Reuben has become quite a regular visitor.

“Don’t you dare write about this muramu or chiramu business in your column!” Reuben said. But he was only joking. We agreed, more than two years ago, that I would write about his life in the Diaspora and more recently, he said I could also write about the journey he made by coming home to Zimbabwe. “As long as people do not get to meet me in the street and say, “hesi Reuben,’” I agreed. Besides, Reuben is his middle name and he does not use it often because he prefers his Shona name. I therefore write Reuben’s story and that of his family with his permission. At times, when he has had a few beers you hear him say, “I don’t care if you write about me Sis. I want to tell the world out there that I am back home in Zimbabwe and man, this place rocks!”

Reuben is Mutsa’s Babamukuru or brother-in-law, husband of Mutsa’s aunt or tete Mai Tinashe. Since Mutsa is a close relative, she does not have to wait to be invited to Reuben’s house. Besides, it is common traditional knowledge that a niece-in-law, or muramu has a responsibility to cook or wait upon her brother-in-law or Babamukuru. Similarly, Babamukuru, as in Reuben’s case, has the responsibility to support his wife’s young sister or niece. Traditionally, such responsibility includes providing sexual knowledge to the young girl and helping her understand issues of marriage.

Apart from the tete, or father’s sister, the only other person to provide such knowledge is the husband of tete or the husband of an older sister.

In the past, this Shona cultural practice of teaching responsible sexual knowledge by brother-in-law was perfectly fine. But some men abused their role of passing such knowledge. Instead of maintaining physical distance, these men crossed the boundaries and ended up in bed with the young sister or niece-in-law. That was not right. But it did happen. When such transgression occurred, resulting in pregnancy, traditional protocols to inform the owner of the husband or maiguru, was followed. This meant that the misbehaving Babamukuru ended up having two wives. Although such relationships were fraught with conflict, polygamy was acceptable within our culture.

Over the years, Mai Tinashe and Madzibaba Ishmael, Mutsa’s father, did not get on at all because she was a staunch Anglican and so were her parents while Madzibaba Ishmael’s belonged to the John Marange Apostolic Faith. In this religious sect, they are allowed to marry many wives. Some of the wives are child brides. That is just the way it has been in the Johane Marange Apostolic Faith church.

Some members of the Johane Marange Apostolic Faith justify the practice of polygamy, quoting Bible verses. They say, in Genesis 16, verses 1–3, it is written: “Now Sarai Abram’s wife bare him no children: and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar. And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, the LORD hath restrained me from bearing: I pray thee, go in unto my maid; it may be that I may obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai. And Sarai, Abram’s wife to Hagar, her maid the Egyptian, after Abram had dwelt 10 years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to her husband Abram to be his wife.” But the Bible example does not end there. In Genesis 4, verse 19, it says, “And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.”

In light of these verses, followers of the Johane Marange church, including Madzibaba Ishmael, Mutsa’s father, argue quite strongly that polygamy is very much in sync with traditional Shona culture. They also insist that long before the missionaries arrived with their monogamous doctrine, polygamy was common in order to increase the wealth of the household. A large number of children also helped as extra labour in the fields.

Reuben first saw Mutsa when she was 12. That was eight years ago when Reuben and Mai Tinashe were visiting Zimbabwe from Australia, where they had migrated. It was Mai Tinashe who introduced Mutsa to Reuben, telling him that this was her favourite niece, daughter of her cousin Madzibaba Ishmael, mwana wehanzvadzi yavo yekwa Babamunini.

During a family gathering, Mai Tinashe had challenged her cousin, Madzibaba Ishmael, about early child marriages, saying such practice was illegal and abusive to children. Madzibaba Ishmael argued that it did not matter how many young wives a man had. Mutsa was going to be married to someone kind and loving. She would be secure and well fed, surrounded by other women and members of the church.

When Mutsa finished Grade Seven, she resisted the offers of marriage from various men within the church. At church meetings, more than two men approached Madzibaba Ishmael separately, promising to simply take Mutsa home to the other wives where she would continue to grow up while getting accustomed to life in a different home from that of her parents. They promised that they would not be intimate with her until she was old enough to be a wife which was likely to be the age of 15, 16 or perhaps, a bit older.

Then Mai Tinashe decided to remove Mutsa quietly without any arguments with Madzibaba Ishmael. Reuben and Mai Tinashe remotely facilitated Mutsa’s movement from the village and asked another relative in Kwekwe to provide Mutsa with accommodation as a day scholar while Reuben and Mai Tinashe paid for her school fees.

Several years later, Mutsa has grown. She is very dark skinned and is tall, slightly taller than Reuben and very slim. She maintains short hair and wears no make-up. When Reuben met her in Highfield two weeks ago, he told her that she could have been a model if she lived in a Western country. “Such wasted beauty,” Reuben had joked, while others listened. He said this on the day he spent the night in Highfield. That was the time he came back complaining about too much noise in the high density suburbs. Reuben and Mutsa exchanged phone numbers. Mutsa was pleasurably flattered. Such comments of admiration coming from a muramu or Babamukuru were most welcome.

“Babamukuru, I mis yu,” Mutsa wrote to Reuben on WhatsApp. He showed the message to me, while we were having coffee together last week. We both laughed about it, saying, young girls do not really know what ‘missing’ someone means.

But the messages from muramu to her Babamukuru are no longer a joke. Mutsa really likes Reuben and we can all see that this could be a dangerous situation if Reuben does not control it.

Dr Sekai Nzenza is a writer and cultural critic.