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Argumentation is a perverse pleasure. My first indulgence was at the age of 12. I had become progressively conscious of the idiocy of a particular Wrestling show on television. I suspected it was rehearsed, but had no evidence to prove my suspicions. An excitable unemployed uncle who had made his abode with us worsened my anxiety. He enjoyed the show perhaps a bit too much. I would have left him to his own devices if not for the fact that he found it necessary to celebrate the “DDT” and “Double-underhook-suplex” with rather irritating physical jerks.

I could bear it no longer and put it to him that the show was merely an act. Naturally, he objected — albeit with weak arguments. He was a man of little imagination and made for easy pickings. We carried on in a little back in forth before I finally pinned him down.

I asked him what happened when a person died. He answered quite sharply, explaining the need for the police, medical staff to confirm the person as dead as well as a post-mortem. I then asked him how it was possible that the authorities in the United States were allowing the “Undertaker” to routinely kill, place in a coffin and immediately bury his opponents as was happening in the Wrestling show.

It was an unassailable point. I had inadvertently stumbled into the world of dialectical argument; I would later learn that this was encompassed in a widely used technique called the Socratic method — arriving at truth by series of seemingly innocuous questions that arrive at truth by logically disproving falsehoods. I cannot help but relate my credulous uncle to the absurd position of the British government on Zimbabwe.

They claim they have imposed sanctions because they love democracy and want to protect the Zimbabwean population from the diabolical Robert Mugabe and his Zanu-PF bloodhounds. This is their position. They are doing it because they care for the black masses. They love us. Unfortunately, for all their colourful rhetoric, these claims do not survive the incorruptible furnace of logic.

Madam Deborah says no
Soon after the election, the British envoy, Deborah Bronnert, was up to her usual white mischief. She spoke of fictional constituencies in which 10 000 voters had been assisted and raised “serious questions about the security” of the vote. Her government would later clarify its position — without an “independent audit,” the election could not be deemed credible. The sanctions would remain in place.

The reader must make an important deduction from this statement by the British. The sanctions will remain in place on the grounds that the West did not deem the elections credible. In their view, democratic principles are being violated and as such sanctions should remain in place. The British continue to claim that they are simply championing democracy in Zimbabwe.

What is puzzling is that these same Brits enjoy cordial relations with vicious despots and congratulate winners of very much flawed elections. If we are to examine their relations across the world, it becomes clear to any objective mind that their frothing at the mouth over Zimbabwe is not motivated by democratic passion, but rather racist rage at the humiliation of the white farmers.

This is the real issue. Whites have pillaged, stolen and colonised the world over and gotten away with it. They have never been punished nor have they been asked to restitute. When Robert Mugabe kicked the thieving white farmers off our land, the pink world went “penga penga”, completely berserk. Who does this nigger think he is, they asked. We will teach him, they said.

The Nigerian Charade — 2007
The Nigerian elections in 2007 are a perfect example of British hypocrisy in action. In that flawed election, the Transition Monitoring Group, with 50 000 Nigeria observers on the ground, called for the polls to be cancelled. TMG head Innocent Chukwuma said the irregularities were so numerous and so far-reaching that “the election was a charade and did not meet the standards required for democratic elections”.

The European Union had 150 observers monitoring Nigeria’s presidential and parliamentary elections. It said the polls “have fallen far short of basic international and regional standards for democratic elections and cannot be considered to have been credible.”

In a statement, the European Union also said there were credible reports indicating at least 200 people were killed — including voters, police and candidates — in both the state and national elections. The head of the European Union monitoring team, Max van den Berg, told the BBC it was one of the worst elections that the EU had observed. A leading candidate, Buhari, rejected the result as “blatantly rigged” and called on parliament to impeach president Olusegun Obasanjo. Thousands of opposition youths started street fires in the northern city of Kano.

Police crushed the protest. A petition to have the election overturned was dismissed by the courts. Let’s consider this for a minute. 200 people are killed, 50 000 observers call the election a “charade,” observers from the European Union state that the election “cannot be considered to have been credible” and the leading opposition candidate calls it “blatantly rigged.”

Surely this would be enough to warrant sanction from the British democratic gladiators. Not so. On the 18th of May, a few days after the widely discredited poll, British Prime Minister, Mr Tony Blair, said he looked forward to “an early meeting” with the President-elect, Umaru Musa Yar’Adua in order “to begin our discussion on future co-operation.”

When the whites want oil they will grovel even before the worst dictator.
This is how the British operate. They are hypocrites of the worst kind, filthy beyond compare. It is based on this informed historical basis that I find Deborah Bronnert’s feigned “concerns” for the Zimbabwean democratic order very much amusing.

Who do these desperate whites think they are fooling, telling us they are champions of democracy in Africa and are sanctioning us for our own good? They must take us for complete idiots. Why did they not exercise that democratic passion in Nigeria?
U

nfortunately for the whites, the game is up as evidenced by President Mugabe’s appointment as Sadc deputy chair. Most non-white nations now know that the British are merely bitter and full of rage over the way we treated white farmers of British extraction. Their idiotic talk about loving us and wishing us a democratic future are absolute bunkum. They should take their democratic generosities to Saudi Arabia.

I found it amusing listening to the British foreign secretary, William Hague, angrily demanding an independent audit of our election. Who the hell does he think he is? Is he under the idiotic racist assumption that because he is white and speaking from London he can call for an independent audit of our elections? He can go hang. No African, Arab or Asian diplomat is frothing over our elections. It is just the pinks that are crying foul. They tell us this anger is motivated by their love and concern for our black people.

The Afghanistan 2009 Joke
The Afghanistan election in 2009 was nothing short of a joke. The Guardian published footage of pre-marked ballot papers that were used across Afghanistan to give the Western puppet Karzai a resounding victory. Some polling stations recorded a 100 percent turnout when only 10 percent of the electorate voted, fearing reprisals from the ruthless Taliban, which had warned against participation.

The UN and EU condemned the vote citing widespread fraud. In the face of such irregularities and fraud, you would imagine that the British would wail themselves hoarse over Afghanistan and its deficient democracy and immediately impose sanctions as they have done to Zimbabwe. Not so. The pinks are quiet. As long as they can fly their drones over Afghanistan then a rigged election is acceptable.

Egypt: Military overthrows Democracy
The democratically elected Morsi is being held captive in Egypt by military forces that overthrew him in a coup a few weeks back. Over a thousand people have been shot dead in the demonstrations that have followed the overthrow. It is important for the reader to realise an important distinction here.

What we have in Zimbabwe is a disputed election. The key word is disputed. The AU, Sadc, China, Russia, Comesa and other non-white nations are saying, “YES — Free and Fair” while the West is saying, “NO — Not Fair, Not Credible.”

At the very worst, this could be called a disputed election. Contrast this with Egypt where there is no dispute. Everyone is agreed that the military coup that overthrew Morsi is a violation of the democratic rights of the Egyptian people.

The sitting government has no democratic legitimacy whatsoever. Everyone is agreed that the hundreds of people shot dead by the same Egyptian military should not have been killed. They were not killed by a lawfully elected government, but by violent usurpers. Just last week 37 prisoners were killed in custody. It’s an outrage.

It is at this point that the insincerity of the West becomes apparent. The United States continues to fund this very same military to the tune of billions. It has not imposed sanctions on Egypt despite this very clear breach of democratic principles. In light of these contradictions, it becomes clear to any objective analyst that the West is imposing sanctions on Zimbabwe NOT for democratic violations as they claim.
What is good for the goose should be equally yummy for the gander.

The democracy argument is simply an acceptable smokescreen. The real issue is white wrath over Mugabe’s ruthless treatment of their thieving white kith and kin. It is just that simple. They are upset.

The whites would like to paint their sanctions as a noble act of unshakeable democratic principle. Quite clearly this is not the case, I have detailed numerous instances in which they have compromised their so-called democratic principle. The Queen of England continues to enjoy tea and biscuits with King Abdulla, a man with a shocking human rights record.

In his country, women are not allowed to drive. Women are treated as minors and cannot travel without permission from a male figure. In that wretched land people enjoy no freedom of speech and are imprisoned for preaching any religion other than Islam.

There are no elections to be rigged since there are no elections held. It is a land ruled by an autocrat. You would imagine this despotic ogre would be slapped with a dozen sanctions. Not so. The West considers him an ally. One wonders if democracy in Zimbabwe is more important that democracy in Saudi Arabia.

Deborah’s white disease
One must not be so foolish as to imagine that Deborah and company will repent of their wickedness from reading these articles, which lay bare their duplicity. They will not. The challenge is that the whites are now impervious to any logic — however unassailable — that runs contrary to their supremacist inclinations. They now believe their own rhetoric.

I doubt Deborah goes to bed imagining herself the hypocrite she really is. I suspect she quietly fancies herself a democratic champion, fighting for the poor natives.

But perhaps my pen is ungenerous to the dear lady, especially in view of the troubling word coming from London. My learned friends in Blighty tell me I may soon be deprived of a sparring partner. I am made to understand that Deborah Bronnert is considered to have so failed in her diplomatic mission that the mechanics are already in motion for her replacement.

Her latest video misstep might be the final nail in her petite diplomatic coffin. Rumours abound that the vultures in Zanu-PF are moving to squeeze maximum diplomatic damage from that unfortunate piece of video in conjunction with regional broadcasters. Interesting times lie ahead.

If it is indeed the case that the fictitious-constituency Ambassador is recalled, I would hope she takes back with her to London a very important lesson on the African mind. We in Africa are not entirely daft. We see through the duplicity. We can read through machinations. There is an assumption on the part of whites that we are mindless lumps of flesh that can be waylaid by the cheapest of stunts.

When Julia Gillard equated the philandering Tsvangirai to Mandela, it became clear to all thinking Africans that the whites were taking us for a ride. That is the lesson Deborah must take back to London.

We began by talking about logic and argumentation. The whites will never engage you when you point out this duplicity. They will never accept to engage in this simple logical debate. This is simply because they know their democratic chants are insincere.

The real issue is their anger over Mugabe’s refusal to back down over the white farmers. He is an unrepentant nigger and must be taught a lesson.

Ndatenda, ndini muchembere wenyu Amai Jukwa.