Of forbidden love triangles and churches

Senzo-Meyiwa-postMake a Difference with Bea
Soccer lovers are in shock. They are hurting. In fact it is worse across the border in South Africa where the Bafana Bafana captain Senzo Meyiwa was shot dead while in the company of his lover and mother of his child a few hours after having been in the company of his wife at a party.

Shona custom says we do not speak ill of the dead and I, being a child of the vaKaranga/vaVhitori people of Gutu, will not speak ill of the late Meyiwa.

In fact his death, as is the case with the death of any person, saddens me. It is much worse considering the stature and contribution he was making to his nation as a soccer player.

He was a celebrity. He was a role model. But apart from all this, he was a young family man. He leaves behind children, some of them very young. Pictures of his lover, singer and actress Kelly Khumalo holding her child are heartbreaking. It is clear to see the devastation in her eyes. But just imagine the devastation that the widow (legally and traditionally recognised wife) Mandisa Mkhize is also faced with.

Not only has she lost her husband but she is also coping with the fact that he died while in the company of another woman; who he had a child with. I am certain that for things to reach this extent, this woman must have known there was another woman in this relationship. The triangle is one that cannot be kept under wraps forever. Thus, all three parties involved knew what was going on.

It is what is happening now after the man who approached both women and made them fall for him is gone that is sad. The lover is said to have been barred from attending his funeral by his parents and family. The widow is reported to also have not turned up at his family home by Thursday in keeping with tradition where people are supposed to pay their respects to her and the late’s family. She is obviously hurting. Some reports say the family was relenting by Thursday and saying Khumalo, who was quite well known for her role in the soapie Rhythm City, as Sunay, can attend the funeral while the widow was said to be on her way too.

There are also issues around his possessions and clothes, which are said to be with his lover at her home where he is reported to have stayed for quite some time. Reports say she refused to hand over his vehicles and clothes while the father is vehement that he should have them. Many have attacked the actress on social media because to them she was the other woman, hence the problem. Maybe because the man who is responsible for the whole story is not there, people must find someone to blame. If anyone is to blame however, it is the criminals who ended such a bright life for a measly cellular phone. If we are to blame anyone, it is this culture of deceit and leading double lives.

This incident coming soon after an earlier piece where I touched on the importance of having a will in place must serve as food for thought for many who are in similar situations. There are many who are in love triangles in today’s society. There are many men with children by different mothers and mothers with children by different men. There are many in unknown polygamous unions, which are the best kept secret. There are many in situations that can best be described as ‘complicated.’

With reports coming everyday about someone or other being caught cheating, we can only imagine how many more have not been caught yet. But this case serves as a learning curve about the importance of thinking ahead and taking care of the interests of those one supposedly loves. Just imagine now what will happen to the children and women left behind by Meyiwa if there is no will which clearly provides for them. Tradition and the law may say or see things a certain way but the reality is there are three children who must survive beyond their father’s death who have been left exposed. There are women who must still survive beyond this.

In a world where we are increasingly faced by the realities that people’s lives are often complicated and there are plenty of skeletons in the closet, Meyiwa’s death and the circumstances under which it happened should serve as a lesson to many to live clean lives. You avoid trouble by not courting any trouble. It should teach people to plan for when they are gone. It must also serve as a lesson for people to try and manage their personal issues. Nothing stays hidden. Just think the shock the wife got finding out he was with his other family a few hours after she had been with him. What this shows is that at best, people have multiple personalities and you never truly know and understand another person. Is it not best to be honest and truthful in all?

If the religious leaders who should be leading by example when it comes to issues of morality are being caught in romps with people’s wives in cars parked by the roadsides, then we can only wonder what is going on. Is the world coming to an end as some colleagues of mine like to say or has society truly lost its moral compass? Has something gone wrong somewhere such that people no longer care about the implications and consequences of their actions?

The church is known for the safe haven it is; a place of refuge. This is a place where we go when we feel thirsty spiritually to drink off the fountain of life. What has entered these hallowed walls that we have cases of pastors and reverends being found guilty of infidelity and other indecent acts. Religious leaders, like the rest of us sinning mortals are human and that is a fact.

The image of a religious leader barefoot, standing next to a woman holding her underwear published by The H-Metro on Thursday was saddening. It was too much. He is not the first one caught in such a scenario. He will not be the last. There is an urgent need for the church to re-group and fight against this wave of sin that has attacked the nation. There is need to pray not just for the economy but relationships too. The difference will be felt in every sphere.

You Might Also Like

Comments

Take our Survey

We value your opinion! Take a moment to complete our survey