Of children, mercenary men and mothers who are not mothers
Adhering to principles in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Children can help create a better world for all children everywhere

Adhering to principles in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Children can help create a better world for all children everywhere

David Mungoshi Shelling the Nuts
The Latin term “loco parentis” defines a situation in which carers, especially teachers, are regarded as being the de facto parents of a child during the absence of the parents.

In other words they are at law the parents while the period of their interaction with the children, as in the school day for example, is going on.

We can also put so-called step-mothers here. While step-mothers in particular are mothers who step in, they are, nevertheless, mothers and must be seen to act as such to all the children under their care without regard to biological parenting.

The bouncing reggae hit song by John Chibadura, “Mudiwa Janet” (My Darling Janet) easily comes to mind for its sad, but gripping melody as well as for its piercing lyrics, which in part say:

Could this really be you, my darling Janet?

Could this be you, now treating me so shoddily?

On that very first day we met

And from the day we became an item

I told you about my children,

And you said, Joe, no sweat . . .

I will care for your children like my very own

Typically, as with all things said in the heat of the moment, the loving Janet turns into something cruel and malevolent and wants the children out of the house yesterday. This is the point at which resolute action becomes necessary, the point at which a grim choice has to be made one way or the other. John Chibadura’s persona sings:

Oh no, that will be the day

Oh no, I can’t forsake my children for love

My Darling Janet it’s time for our bust-up

While there are many quiet and emasculated men out there, who decide to set their children adrift in order to please the new love in their life, there are some principled men who make the heroic sacrifice of subduing their desires and inclinations up until their children can independently make it in life.

I once worked with a young lady whose mother passed on too early in the lives of her two small daughters.

She narrated with fondness and gratitude her father’s love and dedication and recalled how he did for her and her younger sister what her mother would have done had she been there.

When the two girls began their cycles, he explained to them what was happening and had someone from church to help them manage the physical details of their transition into womanhood.

To appreciate this loving father’s dedication, you only have to listen to some of the stories on Tilda’s Show on Star FM.

Some of today’s fathers are like hens that feed upon their own eggs. They thrive on incest as if it was the most natural thing to do. In one particular case, somewhere out in the countryside, a rogue father who had had a child with his own daughter who later went away to be married, made quite a spectacle of himself in later years after the poor girl had passed on.

His mourning was wild and improper, like that of a distraught and bereaved lover. The in-laws were stunned.

Where step-mothers are concerned, I first witnessed a good story in the family to which my paternal grandmother came from. One of our sekurus had two sons from an earlier marriage and when his second wife came into his home, she brought up those boys like her very own sons and the boys loved and honoured her even in their adult lives.

Not too many people realised she was a step-mother. I only got to know about it when the lady herself told this to me as part of her efforts at making me understand better some of the more intricate matters of life.

I am sure that all of us know of similar stories, particularly in the villages. But, as they say, one good turn deserves another. That is the story of my sekuru’s two sons, whose lives could have been hell on earth had their step-mother been the hard cruel

One woman in an extended family that I was acquainted with was so incensed whenever her husband’s daughter with another woman came visiting that she was known to spit into cups of tea meant for her step-daughter.

What she didn’t know was that life has its own designs. Her own daughter and son both died after short illnesses.

A few years after the death of her children, she was taken ill in a bout of illness that saw her totally incapacitated and needing help even with the most basic things. Guess who came in to fill the void?

The step-daughter that she despised! That woman’s last days on earth must have been soul-searching ones. These things can happen to anyone and everyone and there are many lessons to learn from the lives of others.

Churches, governments and significant other bodies can make a difference if they mount awareness programmes to entrench the rights of children.

The starting point can be with the children themselves in school so that they grow up to be wholesome individuals, who will live their lives guided by morality and sound ethics.

Too many men these days are too willing to reap where they did not sow and because the culture of wills is still to take root among our people, too many marry widows, particularly those who are step-mothers, are too quick to find themselves new paramours on who they spend the dead husband’s fortune or estate while at the same time subjecting his other children to emotional torture and physical deprivation.

Without exception, many of these mercenary men prey upon the widows without shame. The widows ought to know better, but they don’t always do.

We all need to make the world beautiful for all children without exception.

Perhaps more needs to be done by way of educating the public since in many cases they can no longer benefit from any innovations in the school curriculum. There is need for more civil education campaigns on radio and television, mobile cinema units and newspapers.

Readers will find it informative and relevant to look at the United Nations Convention on the Rights of Children.

In this regard, The General Assembly resolution 44 /25 of 20 November 1989, which came into force on September 2 in 1990 has specific provisions in respect of what parties to the convention are obliged to do. In this respect, the preamble to the convention is instructive, especially in its following statements:

Bearing in mind that the peoples of the United Nations have, in the Charter, reaffirmed their faith in fundamental human rights and in the dignity and worthy of the human person and have determined to promote social progress and better standards of life in larger freedom;

Recalling that, in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the United Nations has proclaimed that childhood is entitled to special care and assistance,

Recognising that the child, for the full and harmonious development of his or her personality, should grow up in a family environment, in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding,

Considering that the child should be fully prepared to live an individual life in society and brought up in the spirit of the ideals proclaimed in the Charter of the United Nations and in particular in the spirit of peace, dignity, tolerance, freedom, equality and solidarity,

Bearing in mind that, as indicated in the Declaration of the Rights of the Child, “the child, by reason of his physical and mental immaturity, needs special safeguards and care, including appropriate legal protection, before as well as after birth”, . . .

All the above-stated principles are noble and worthwhile and if properly observed and implemented, can help create a better world for all children everywhere. And as might be expected, there is a charter of the African Child designed in the days of the Organisation of African Unity (OAU), now the African Union (AU).

On the question of children imprisoned with their mothers, Article 30 Section 1 of the Charter of the African Child in its sub-sections states:

(a) ensure that a non-custodial sentence will always be first considered when sentencing such mothers;

(b) establish and promote measures alternative to institutional confinement for the treatment of such mothers;

(c) establish special alternative institutions for holding such mothers;

(d) ensure that a mother shall not be imprisoned with her child;

(e) ensure that a death sentence shall not be imposed on such mothers;

Brethren, come let us reason together.

Too many children out there are the unfortunate victims of circumstance and immoral design.

Let us, together, nip these things in the bud. It is time to put cruel spendthrift widows in their place and curb the escapades of our latter-day Casanovas, whose only claim to fame is their predatory inclinations.

It may also be necessary to re-visit the country’s inheritance laws.

David Mungoshi is a writer, social commentator and editor.

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