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Most of these new churches have week-long conferences, or camps away from home. The woman is, therefore, free to camp and enjoy a certain freedom that she never had before

Sekai Nzenza On Wednesday
“AKANGODA kuti, hazvisi izvo, mudzimai anomurova neverse remuBible obva ati zii,” said Jemba, our neighbour and the one who works in our homestead garden. By this, he meant that if a husband speaks in disagreement over an issue, his wife “beats him” up with a Biblical verse and the man is immediately silenced.

Jemba was referring to our childhood drummer called Musindo, who had just walked past our homestead, greeting us politely from afar and refusing to join us for a drink.

We were in the village last Sunday afternoon. My cousin Reuben called after Musindo again, asking him to come over and grab just one drink. But Musindo said no, he had some errands to do at home.

There were several cans of beer in the cooler box and Reuben was in the right mood to share a beer or two with neighbours. Jemba laughed, saying Musindo was now living under a “petticoat government”. Reuben then said, “I cannot believe that is Musindo, the giant drummer. What happened to him?”

Lighting his cigarette from the piece of burning firewood, Jemba said, “Yes, that is Musindo. Christianity has made him as quiet as a church mouse.” We all laughed. But Reuben said it was not funny to see such a drastic personality change in a man.

Musindo is a nickname and it means one who is a bully or a person who just likes to cause trouble. When he finished Grade Seven, Musindo became well known as the village drummer. Then he left the village to join his uncles on the white man’s tobacco farms in Hwedza. He came home one Christmas and met his future wife while dancing to records at Muzorori & Sons Stores.

She was a quiet and gentle small woman. They had several children.

When the land reform programme started, the white farmer left and Musindo came home. He played the drum at beer parties. His skill at drumming had improved a great deal because he could now play the drum beats he had learnt from other labourers on the tobacco farms. He could play the drum beat from Chipinge, Nyanga, Masvingo, Guruve and the Zambezi River.

Sometimes he could even sing Chewa songs sung by Malawian farm migrants during ceremonies and rituals. Musindo’s wife never joined him at any of the village ceremonies. She had converted to the apostolic church where people wear white garments and veils.

One day, Musindo got very drunk and said he lost his way home. He arrived home in the morning and told his wife that he had spent the night dodging hyenas, foxes and witches all over the hills and the valleys. Musindo’s wife did not believe him. She tracked the footsteps of Musindo’s gum boots from the place where Musindo claimed he had been drinking beer all the way to the homestead belonging to one widow, who happened to be married to Musindo’s late cousin. His wife accused him of having an affair with his late cousin’s widow.

Musindo denied that he had an affair with his cousin’s wife. The cousin’s wife also denied any knowledge of having seen Musindo at all on the night he had not come home.

She claimed that she was at an all-night prayer ku Nguo Tsvuku, church of the Red Cloth, of which she was a strong member. Musindo’s wife then convinced her husband to come to her church, just once. He did. Prophet Jeremiah said he could see death coming Musindo’s way if he kept on his habits of drinking and womanising. Musindo was scared. Within a few months, he had become a strong believer. People did not see him at beer gatherings or ceremonies any more. He no longer sang or played the drum.

Jemba said Musindo was just one example of men, who are increasingly losing their power to women. He blamed the church and the changing times. He said these days, when children leave home, it is very common that couples over 45 or 50, are finding themselves living alone. Gone are the days when grandchildren used to come and live with young grandparents.

Urban migration and the Diaspora mean that young parents keep their children. They either send them to crèche or hire nannies to look after them. This means the middle aged or elderly couple lives alone.

In this new household, according to Jemba, the woman’s power begins to rise. She does not have children to keep her busy. In order to socialise, she turns to the traditional church or hops from one church to the other. She does this to keep herself entertained and spiritually motivated.

Most of these new churches have week-long conferences or camps away from home. The woman is, therefore, free to camp and enjoy a certain freedom that she never had before. “Vakaenda kuchurch,” is often what you hear people say when the woman is away, meaning, she went to a church conference. Sometimes, they say, “Vari ku all night”, meaning they have gone to an all-night prayer. Meanwhile, the poor husband is left at home to cook for him or to go and drink with other men.

We identified various households where the man used to work in town or in South Africa. We realised that once the man settled back home, he gradually started taking orders from his wife. There were at least five men who live around our village and they appear to have relinquished their old role as powerful men in the community.

Two were not church goers and their wives expected them home before sunset. Three men had been encouraged or possibly dragged to church and converted to the new Zionist church. They were no longer meeting other men at beer parties except at the religious gatherings.

These men had also lost their traditional powerful roles of son-in-law or nephew at ceremonies where they used to be consulted on cultural matters.

“How often do you see a man who is not that old being ordered around by his wife as if he is a young boy? She orders him to tighten a loose belt, to close his zip, to wipe his beard, to adjust his hat, to be careful when eating in case he stains his shirt with soup,” said Jemba.

“It gets worse when the adult working children take their mother’s side and send money to the mother and never to the father. The mother is the one who goes to collect money from EcoCash or the bank. Baba is left at home and he relies on handouts from his wife. When that happens, then you know your manhood is finished,” said Jemba. “You have to take orders from the wife. We are losing our power guys, and there is nothing we can do.”

I reminded Jemba that soon his new wife was coming. If he was so worried about women’s rising power in the home, why was he getting married? He laughed and said that he would accept the woman’s power as long as he was still allowed to drink with the boys and to come home when he wants to. “I do not want to get old alone. She can boss me around as long as she still cooks for me and washes my clothes.”

A little later, we saw Musindo’s wife coming through the gate of our homestead. She sat with us and enjoyed sweet tea and bread. Then Jemba started accusing her openly of using religion to bully and oppress Musindo.

“If you were both able to have babies, I would not be surprised to see Musindo washing nappies,” Jemba said.

Musindo’s wife laughed and talking loudly, she said God had answered her prayer to bring Musindo to God. Their marriage was a lot happier now. Musindo had been converted to become a soft and gentle man.

“Rave rema kani!” said Jemba, meaning Musindo had become a passive fool. “I am telling you the truth about women’s power that is growing in these villages because of the church and lack of money.

Musindo does not touch a beer or cigarette any more. He is expected to be home before sunset. If he is late, this woman will find a verse that talks about hell or a sudden infliction of wounds like those Job had in the Bible. At least Job was healed and his wealth increased seven times. But the days of Job are gone. Musindo will suffer on this earth for disobeying God,” Jemba said.

“The man has been emasculated,” Reuben said, shaking his head.

“Emas what?” asked Jemba.

“Emasculated. This means, his identity as a man, as a father or as a husband has been eroded or taken away from him by women or by this new church. A man has to find a balance and work hard at keeping his masculine identity.”

Dr Sekai Nzenza is an independent writer and cultural critic.