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Lastly, and most importantly, it is clear that Tsvangirai, in writing his letters, wants to say, “I told you so!” should he eventually precipitate a self-fulfilling prophecy of chaos in the country aided by Americans and the putschist cabal in zanu-pf.

It is the Fool (or Court Jester) in a Shakespearean play who hands us this gem of wisdom — that a madman’s epistles are no gospels.

The matter relates to the cruel jest that is played on Malvolio, an ostentatious, snobbish, gentleman with delusions of grandeur at the service of Lady Olivia whom he happened to love.

Because of his general unpleasantness around the court, the other servants connive to make a fool of him.

They write him a letter purporting to come from Olivia in which “she” professes to love him and tells him that “some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them.”

The letter enjoins him to come dressed in yellow leggings and cross gutters and smile all the time.

Which he does — much to the surprise and consternation of the lady (and how she hates yellow stockings and cross-gutters!) whereupon she orders him into an asylum, thinking he is now mad.

It is from this prison that he writes the lady a letter complaining how he has been ill used.

But the Fool that gets possession of the letter is in no hurry to deliver the epistle.

Olivia asks about how the “much distract” Malvolio’s condition.

Fool: “Truly, madam, he holds Beelzebub at the staves’ end as well as a man in his case may do. Has here writ a letter to you. I should have given’t you today morning, but as a madman’s epistles are no gospels, so it skills not much when they are delivered.”

Tsvangirai’s epistles

It was by pure chance that we got to know, from none other than Tsvangirai’s mouthpiece, the Daily News, that the opposition leader has written letters to South African President Jacob Zuma, “all the other sadc heads of state, African Commission chairperson Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma, United Nations secretary-general Ban Ki Moon and the European Union head of delegation in Zimbabwe Phillipe Van Damme.”

We are told the letter is “strongly-worded” and the pliant Daily News is favoured with a copy of the same.

(Only it was in a hurry to tell us the contents!)

Here is what is said to be contained in Tsvangirai’s epistle.

He complains about, “the wilting democratic space in Zimbabwe, warning that unless the regional body intervened, the country would soon be consumed by chaos and anarchy.”

Though South African President Jacob Zuma made it clear his mediation in Zimbabwe ended with the harmonised elections that Tsvangirai lost dismally, the MDC-T leader seems none the wiser

“Your Excellency, the situation in Zimbabwe is getting out of hand and civil strife is imminent. Zimbabweans are once again being subjected to suppression by the government. We call upon the region and the continent not to sit idly by and watch Zimbabwe slide back into chaos,” Tsvangirai is quoted as “warning”.

Elsewhere in the said letter, he is quoted as complaining about the Constitution and inferring that the expulsion of Messrs Rugare Gumbo and Didymus Mutasa from Zanu-PF where they were involved in an alleged plot to unconstitutionally unseat President Mugabe was yet another indicator of the “absence of the respect for the rule of law in the country”.

Now Tsvangirai’s letters have all the hallmarks of a madman, which makes it so surprising that a whole newspaper would be so keen to read to us.

First, this is not the first time Tsvangirai has written such a letter in an attempt to seek relevance to his waning career.

It is conceivable that the recipients may not even look at the letters.

For his part, President Zuma told us his role in the Zimbabwean affair ended two years ago with the holding of free and fair elections that Tsvangirai dismally lost.

That Tsvangirai writes him now can only mean madness, not least because it is a truism that a man who tries the same thing over and over again and expects different results is a fool.

The second thing to note in Tsvangirai’s madness — or to put it mildly — the madness of his letters, is that he seems to forget that not only are sadc countries, including President Zuma’s South Africa, as well as the African Union, bound by programmes and protocol, these two organisations are currently chaired by none other than President Mugabe.

Is Tsvangirai seriously suggesting a palace coup against President Mugabe at these august forums?

If he does, he needs to have his head examined.

Industrialise, beneficiate, value-add

Connected to the above, and as illustrative of Tsvangirai’s desperate mental state, both the region and continent are seized with the agenda to industrialise, beneficiate and value-add to vast natural resources.

This is the gospel that President Mugabe is preaching and is gaining traction on the continent.

The continent cannot be held hostage by an unpopular and confused opposition politician whose only hope is to seek attention to his empty coffers through megaphone diplomacy.

The other thing that those who care a hoot about Tsvangirai’s sanity is that whereas he pretends to be in control of his faculties and indeed ready to lead Zimbabwe, at home he has shown to be an erratic and indecisive leader.

This contradiction is glaring.

Consider, for example, the fact that Tsvangirai purports to be a democracy advocate but he willy-nilly refuses to participate in elections; picks and chooses results to accept or reject or cherry picks parts of an election that he wants to partake of — for example choosing to field candidates in the proportional representation part of an election he says he does not want to participate in.

That is Tsvangirai, the serial flip-flopper madman for you!

At the moment, his party is divided over the forthcoming elections, the way he divided opinion during the first split of the party on October 12, 2005.

Lastly, and most importantly, it is clear that Tsvangirai, in writing his letters, wants to say, “I told you so!” should he eventually precipitate a self-fulfilling prophecy of chaos in the country aided by Americans and the putschist cabal in Zanu-PF.

Unfortunately for Tsvangirai, he does not have the numbers to do so let alone the capacity to organise even a bun fight in a bakery.

Because the nefarious plot is now in the public domain, and because he and his plotters have already been outed, including his use of the alleged disappearance of his supporter-turned-sidekick called Itai Dzamara, it is only a fool that may be caught by surprise by any of his planned shenanigans.

Tsvangirai is behaving like a foolish man who self-importantly pronounces something that everyone holds as a public secret.

As such, his letter will not have any force or effect except confirmation of Tsvangirai’s own distraction.