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Could we have seen the antics of the proverbial cat with nine lives when property belonging to the under fire Cuthbert that was attached being returned once again?

Who am I?

She is popular for having a big butt.

She is probably the Kim Kardashian of Zimbabwe and to this day we are wondering what her talent or lack of it really is.

She first made news for being the curviest at a contest in 2009 and immediately became a socialite and as part of the prize she suddenly became a common feature as she graced every high class party in town mixing and mingling with the cream of society.

With it also inevitably came dates with rich older men and we will not go into detail about exactly what this led on to.

Our wannabe also made news when she hooked up with visiting Nigerian singer-songwriter, harmonica player and businessman Oladapo Daniel Oyebanjo, better known in music circles as D’banj and other local and regional celebrities.

Her escapades did not go unnoticed as she made it a point to splash them on social media especially on Facebook. Our lady did not in any way shy off showing her curvaceous endowments that earned her the title, going as far as sporting bandage dresses for all to see. This was soon to become a cliché and people stopped paying attention and she then switched to controversial posts about wanting to be a cougar.

We had almost forgotten about her completely until recently when she resurfaced making news being happy with new child!

While she spoke at length of how she was enjoying motherhood, she conveniently forgot to update her (marital) status.

Why the secrecy we wonder when she used to post every detail about her life? Any hints out there?

Going, going, gone!

Someone please pinch us. For it seems to be too good to be true that we are finally set to see the back of that despised murderer of Zimbabwe football. For no matter what desperate remedies he may try to take, the dude is gone. Make no mistake about that.

In fact we urge him to go back to his Nigerian spiritual father for another dose of miracles because obviously the last batch has gone past its best before date.

On second thoughts if we are only dreaming please do not wake us up for we may commit murder. We refuse to even think that Cuthbert may still be at the helm of ZIFA by 17 June 2015.

Although we are waiting for the deal to be inked before we start asking irrelevant questions like: Where the hell this council was while this guy ran ZIFA like his personal kingdom?

As for his ‘investment in football’ as henchman Jonathan would put it, who cares? Who had died and made Cuthbert the sponsor of the national team? And who put a gun to his big head and forced him to put a hand into his bottomless wallet for football?

And the way we figure it out, it was never Cashbert’s money in the first place seeing as most of it belonged to some poor civil servants who were expecting some medical attention in return for it.

Right now most of them are still struggling to access that same attention because he messed up big time at their expense. So do not tell us about his investment, please Jonathan Mashingaidze!

Okay we hear the part of FIFA wanting to keep Dube in place is so he can vote for the equally hated Sepp Blatter to remain in office for another term.

But we think that cabal is taking things too far and the ZIFA councillors should refuse to be squashed like so many insignificant bugs.

Admittedly Bra Gee left school long before what can be considered education was anywhere near complete. So you will excuse us if we need to ask just what FIFA means by objecting to the ZIFA EGM held last weekend by stating that the EGM must be held within three months of the requested date?

According to our Grade Seven dictionary ‘within’ means anywhere inside the stated parameters. So how is this date technically wrong? Why are the ZIFA councillors accepting this idiotic directive without arguing its merit?

More please

Sticking with dear Cuthbert, we are really angry with ourselves for not having inveigled our sorry selves into the position of ZBC bosses at the right time.

Just look at how we could also have had our fairytale rags to riches stories like all those dudes who lived ordinary lives until they could literally scoop up millions.

Maybe we should not berate ourselves so much because some people are just meant to have greatness upon them0 in this lifetime and that is that.

For how else would you explain the Houdini-like reappearance of Tazzen Mandizvidza back at work when that report clearly says he is one of those who chopped the national broadcaster’s money with no mercy for the poor worker going unpaid for several months?

And why are the PSMAS people sitting on the results of the audit that would really tell us the extent of dear Cuthbert’s personal aggrandizement drive?

What is in that report? In the absence of fact we will believe any and every rumour that we hear including the one alleging that minister so and so was practically on Cuthbert’s payroll.

Need we go on or maybe you have heard worse yourself?

Let us have more results of forensic audits and less rhetoric on stamping out corruption and so on.

Last Call:

A pair of jumper cables walk into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says, “OK, but I don’t want you starting anything in here.”

Till next week, bottoms up!

 Facebook: Bra Gee, Email: [email protected], Twitter: @brageesbar