Reflections Isdore Guvamombe
Back in the village, in the land of milk, honey and dust or Guruve, wealth is dew, as the sun rises imperceptibly, it soon dries up, leaving ephemeral memories. Do elders not say, to avoid fraud or wickedness, God gave every creature a name and means of survival? But with earthly

ogre, some are more equal than others, and claim to be more closer to God than others.
In the village, a log thrown into the water does not become a crocodile. No one else but God is God.
No one else but God should be worshipped. God is omnipresent and omnipotent, one cannot look for him like her she is looking for free-lancing cattle.

Do the elders with cotton tuft heads not say, all that we do on earth, we shall account for it kneeling before God in Heaven, for, an egg never sits on a hen? It is vise versa!
In the village newspapers are feminine because of their facial decorum so The Herald has a sister called The Sunday Mail. While The Herald appears with new facial foundation of cosmetic stories every day for six days a week, its sister The Sunday Mail appears once a week, on a very holy day — Sunday. Last Sunday made history in the area of religion and religiosity, the art and the belief or, call it Gosprenuership, the new art of spinning money.

Reading a copy on the auction of second-hand clothes of one of the most illustrious Zimbabwean tele-evangelists or call him Gosprenuer, Spirit Embassy church founder and leader Prophet Uebert Angel, hey, this villager thinks winches of heaven must have opened floodgates of good fortune for him.
Prophet Angel celebrated his 34th birthday at a glitzy all-white mega-party at the City Sports Centre in Harare last Friday where one of his shirts was auctioned for a whopping US$10 000. Yes, US$10 000! This is bizarre and unthinkable! Which entrepreneur would not smile if people bought a shirt from him for that much?

His pair of second hand socks went for US$1 500; a tie US$700; another shirt US$4 000 and an air rifle US$5 500. A portrait of Prophet Angel and United Family International Church leader Prophet Emmanuel Makandiwa and their spiritual father Prophet Victor Kusi Boateng of Ghana also went under the hammer at US$7 500.

Yes, did you get it right dear reader, that our prophets have a spiritual father other than God the Almighty?
Proceeds from the auction went into Prophet Angel’s purse as “seeds”. Is this not Gosprenuership?
“Some time last week, I had to sneak into the man of God’s bedroom and ‘steal’ some of his most treasured items while he was away at his office and up to now he did not know where the stuff was.

“I know my brother and his taste for style and classy things, but tonight, some of you will go home as proud owners of some of that stuff.
“If, for instance, you buy this pair of socks, you will be blessed with the anointing of speed and overtaking.”
Overtaking who, to where? Heaven or hell?

It defies logic to buy a shirt for US$10 000 just because a man born of woman once put it on. Does it not?
This villager understands the man of God worships a God who hovers like a helicopter, Jehova Chikopokopo. Sound more like Alick Macheso’s recruit, “Chikopokopo, chikopokopo, chikopokopo”!

God or God. Great God of Heaven and Earth why not liberate the land of Munhumutapa from worshiping other people who are not You? Does that not mock You, Father? God and oh, God! God . . . God.
God! Mighty God!

The village soothsayer, the ageless autochthon of knowledge and wisdom says readers must play Hosea Chipanga’s hit song Mwari Pindiraiwo.
Hembe yake yakambopfekwa nemumwe
Bhachi rake rakambopfekwa nemumwe
Bhurezha rake rakambopfekwa nemumwe
Gumbeze rake rakambofukwa nemuwe . . .
Mwari pinidraiwo!

This villager is an epitome of poverty and so is his entire ancestry lineage, but honestly, how can one spend US$10 000 of a second hand shirt? If socks go for US$1 500, this villager is sure this is the end of the world. The end is nigh! This villager needed to sell his five cattle to buy Angel’s stockings, just because the man of God once wore them!

In my small village we might all need to jointly sell our cattle in order to afford buying the man of God’s shirt. This villager was looking at journalists who drive a personal car and found out that very few drive around in cars worth more than US$10 000, hence even if they had sold their cars, they could not afford that shirt.

This villager cannot stop but wonder if God is found in those socks, this villager cannot help but wonder if God can be found in that shirt and tie. In any case, who would know that the shirt I am wearing is the one once worn by the Man of God?

Are we not worshiping the shirt, the tie and the socks? What is Godly about them? Are we different from those who worship idols? The more avid reader of the

Bible would probably read Luke 23:34, which explains how the soldiers who killed Jesus, shared his clothes.
Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. Are we different?
That aside, the venue for the birthday party, this villager is told, was the City Sports Centre, the usual worship venue used by Angel’s friend, Prophet Makandiwa.
Does anyone remember John. 2.13-22: Jesus drives the Moneylenders from the Temple: “The Passover of the Jews was near, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. In the temple he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves, and the moneychangers seated at their tables.

“Making a whip of cords, he drove all of them out of the temple, both the sheep and the cattle. He also poured out the coins of the moneychangers and overturned their tables. He told those who were selling the doves ‘Take these things out of here! Stop making my Father’s house a marketplace!’ His disciples remembered that it was written, ‘Zeal for your house will consume me.’”

In the village God is too huge a figure, too feared, too respected, too important and too distant for any one single person to claim to have exclusive and express access to Him. Going to God involves an entire ancestral lineage, passing the message from one foregone generation to another and hence it is a misnomer for small boys to claim to have access to God.

It is tantamount to belittling the Almighty. Again no one is expected to make money with God, but to seek His hand in making money. Once again this villager expects backlash from pseudo-Christians and not real Christians, for one does not plunge into the river in winter and then run away from the cold. It is expected!
Village elders say the best defence against logic is ignorance, desperation and gullibility. In the same vein they say the only thing achievable in life without effort is failure, for, failure is mainly achieved by keeping a redundant mind forever gathering dust, like and old book. When it comes to religion and religiosity, the art and the belief, a suffering human being becomes weak, susceptible and clueless, automatically surrendering to the occult in fear of the unknown.

Then, perception becomes reality. Fear of the unknown transforms into gullibility and anything that one has can easily be given away to the few who are enterprising and claiming to have express access to God. The poor, the hungry and the less fortunate, get seriously under pressure from the fortune-tellers that they part with their meals and even go hungry, after being hoodwinked that they are investing in God, by these enterprising smartly dressed self-styled prophets.

These are the latter day businessmen, entrepreneurs or gosprenuers, using the bible to line their pockets, while milking the sick and the suffering of their hard-earned cash. Religion then provides the much-needed smokescreen behind which these men hide their gosprenuership. It is the biggest and fastest growing industry in Zimbabwe and beyond. Are we looking for God or gold? Or, is the sun not the mother of all torches?