ON Saturday I watched the UEFA Champions League final between Manchester United and FC Barcelona on
Oh, what a match it was! I also realised how much Lionel Messi is such an inspiration to our every own Winky D.
I believe the dancehall star was right by equating his lyrical prowess to the magic skills of the Argentinian star.
After the match I then switched to ZBCTV and wham I was caught up by this evangelist programme this time featuring Pastor Emmanuel Makandiwa or is it the Prophet.
From the stories I have heard so far about this United Family International church leader, frankly speaking, I found the programme on ZBCTV quite bizarre.
I was reminded of the Jerry Springer Show or the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) where everything is scripted and acted out.
Evangelical programmes on satellite television have ushered in a new wave of worshipping, drama and entertainment for instance the way Prophet TB Joshua or Pastor Chris conduct their healing sessions.
By just blowing into the air somebody gets healed. Whether that is true or false it remains debatable.
On this programme featuring Makandiwa there was this one bizarre healing session held in Harare at the City Sports Centre where I gather scores of followers throng every Sunday for prophecy.
So we had the Prophet gliding up and down the auditorium with some aides or bodyguards just behind him holding the cordless microphones.
A woman was called to the front and when she got to the Prophet she was asked whether she was married or not to which she hesitantly answered "yes".
The woman was told to be careful when prophets asked questions since they already knew what one would say even before they said it.
Typical of all prophets whether those from apostolic sects or voodoo, they use threatening language to instill fear and always want people to agree to what they say. If you argue with them or disagree they will accuse you of lying or they simply give up on you.
So this woman really wanted help and she had to massage the Prophet's ego by requesting for the prophecy to which he smiled and agreed.
But before the prophet could get into the prophecy, he threatened the woman with death. According to the prophet the woman's death was imminent and he even knew the date and time.
He then told the woman that her husband was with another woman attending the same church service. Shocking isn't it? Well, that's what I found intriguing about this late night entertainment.
So the husband and his girlfriend were both called to the front. The girlfriend then confessed that she was willing to let go and when the husband was asked to choose who he wanted between his wife and girlfriend, he went straight for his wife.
But now the question is how on earth will a man and his small house, so to speak, attend the same church service as his wife?
Even more bizarre was that after Makandiwa had prayed or whatever, he told the woman that she would not die after all and that her husband's former girlfriend would get her own man.
Obviously, with some people claiming that May 21, 2011 was the so-called Judgment Day it crossed my mind that strange things are happening in the country of my birth.
Life ain't easy but I believe that if we all read from the same Holy Bible God will have mercy on us.
The only good thing about the programme is that ZBCTV is now screening local evangelical programmes which should translate to lots of revenue for the public broadcaster.