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We had a bit of an argument at a meeting when someone wondered whether we had not seen a particular headline in yesterday’s issue of one soporifically lousy daily. The headline in question was: “Mugabe’s end nigh: Think tank”.

Our interlocutor insisted that it must have been just a couple of weeks back when we saw a similar headline.

Nobody could quite clearly pin down the date, but we were in general agreement that such a doomsday headline had happened lately.

And not just lately – but many times before.

It gave us a sense of deja vu.

The paper and its kith and kin in the so-called independent media may just as well have used the same headline in half of the past year’s 52 weeks.

It is this kind of recurrence of the speculation that makes a body not to even attempt to read the story itself.

You just pass it by and say: “Oh, we have heard that before! Whose end is not near, anyway?”

And you would have: the business of predicting the fall of President Mugabe from power and through death has been a constant theme of his detractors in the media that so pray hard in abetting the political opposition.

Even some church people have been praying for the same outcome, hoping going public with their prayers will land them a few more followers – and the tithes that come with it.

It is a business opportunity, as well as a cheap way to get mileage.

Thus the world has given us all sorts of characters and charlatans from Desmond Tutu right through to Pius Ncube to this other Magaya and lately the lonesome Kariba pastor.

By the way there are also Malawian charlatans who were predicting the death of President Mugabe.

We are hearing that this one Prophet Austin Liabunya told his church during a New Year crossover service in Lilongwe that: “Mugabe’s biological clock will not tick beyond this year.”

But last year Apostle Kenneth Eagle of the Holy Tabernacle Ministries of the same country was even more graphic.

He wrote on his Facebook wall: “This is for Southern Rhodesia. I know there are great prophets in Zimbabwe but my spirit is crying as am writing this.

“Why the African political hero resting without Christ. It is not far when the flag of Southern Rhodesia will be pulled down for some days. This is the fall of a great King and his kingdom. I saw the African Union (AU) flag pulled down as a symbol of honour to their beloved leader. Viva … Viva, these were the final words spoken by many presidents as they were entering Zimbabwe. What’s happening in Zimbabwe?

“That was my question and angel of the Lord said this must come to pass soon, pray that it will not happen in a festive season. Then, I saw a better nation with much of economy fruitfulness.”

You will concede that some of these things have high comic value.

This is why you find that the one villain, the one unfortunate persona in this drama who should suffer death, President Mugabe, usually laughs off these pseudo prophecies and even begrudges that the prophets never proclaim his resurrection!

Southern Rhodesia… African political hero resting without Christ… fall of a great King and his kingdom; there should be not much of a prophecy here is there, surely?

But you may want to situate that in the general paucity of ideas from political opponents of President Mugabe and the general physical poverty of the various audiences who are looking for material salvation.

A heavy Cross to carry

As we note above, some of the prophecies and death wishes are acts of pure desperation by and on behalf of failed political players.

Opposition political players in Zimbabwe are out of their depth and only now have to look for divine – or evil -power to intervene on their behalf.

It is such a miserable affair.

Imagine waking up everyday and training your eyes to the road for the bearer of such bad “good” news.

Like some evil bird of carrion.

In humans it must have the effect of one drinking poison so that your enemy can die.

At the end of the day, it is you who will waste away – you who will be corrupt, empty and disturbed.

It is just a cross too hard to bear.

Our favourite on this death and destruction is none other that Eddie Cross.

He just won’t tire.

And it would seem that the opposition MDC-T man, who saw the transition of Rhodesia into Zimbabwe, wants to see the opposite, reverse process.

That is his one wish – made sweeter if he can see the violent end of one Robert Mugabe, the one constant in the story.

We have covered Cross’ apocalyptic wishes before.

He was at it again this week.

He wrote a piece titled “Bob’s last days: Let the games begin”.

He predicted that a number of factors would combine and this “will tip Zimbabwe over the edge this year”.

“I personally cannot wait; we have struggled in the main opposition party, the MDC, to unseat the government through non-violent and democratic means but have not only been denied any significant external assistance in this struggle but faced the active opposition of many African states, including South Africa. Now the forces of change will take control again, as they did in 1980. The only difference being that this time there will be no Lancaster House, or a former colonial power to supervise the transfer of power and ensure stability.”

Good luck, Mr Cross!

For all we know, Zimbabwe, like other countries of the world, will have some troubles this year but they are not insurmountable and they will not lead to the crisis that the likes Eddie Cross would like to see.

And we are not privy to God’s plans and what he has in store for President Mugabe who is a mere mortal, anyway.

Mortal, like Cross himself, who may as well die well before the man he thinks may die before him.

But it has to be stated here and now that even if President Mugabe were to leave the scene now, by choice or otherwise, that would not imply the road is clear for the ressurection of Rhodesia of Cross’ dreams. He will die a very disappointed man, very disppointed until he reaches the cross.

State House is farther than the likes of Eddie Cross may imagine.