Can you find true love online? Ariana Grande and ex-boyfriend Jai Brooks met online
Ariana Grande and ex-boyfriend Jai Brooks met online

Ariana Grande and ex-boyfriend Jai Brooks met online

Vongai Mbara Lifestyle Reporter
Do you ever imagine the days of traditional dating, way before the development of technology that has changed a lot of things to the extent of having people going through profiles and photos of total strangers on the internet in hopes of finding that special someone.

Many years back, men would spend three years asking out a girl. They would walk many kilometres looking for love. The funny part is that they did not have mobile phones, so sometimes they would visit a girl’s village and spend the whole day waiting for her to go out alone and could even go back without seeing her.

When you ask people from that era, they can tell you that it was all worth it because they got to have their soul mates. However, today, a lot of things about courting and relationships have changed.

Online dating has gone mainstream with hundreds of sites and applications for every possible niche. An interesting modern statistic says one in five relationships started online.

While some people prefer online dating to the tradition dating approach, the major question is: Is online dating a safe alternative to the traditional way of meeting potential romantic life partners?

Can you truly find love online?

Online dating is becoming one of the fastest growing alternative techniques of dating and many people claim to have found the loves of their lives via social media networks like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and many more.

This is hardly a new phenomenon since online dating has been around as long as the Web made it possible for two or more strangers to communicate without seeing each other.

This writer sat down with Brenda Chikinu (not her real name) a mother of two who found her life partner through a dating site. In 2000, 24-year-old Brenda graduated from law school and moved to Masvingo.

There, she found a supportive group of friends, an apartment within walking distance of the city and absolutely no time to date. “I am a lawyer, and it is a job that takes up a lot of time. I did not know how I was going to meet someone, especially when with what little free time I had I wanted to spend it with my friends,” she said.

Samantha and Vanon met online

Samantha and Vanon met online

Heeding advice from friends, Brenda turned to the Internet. “There were not a lot of people using the Internet back then so I had to go to an internet cafe and scan in a picture of myself for my profile.”

Soon after that, she was on a date. “I met this guy for drinks one Saturday evening and everything was going fine until he said something very disrespectful to me. We started arguing and I never went out with him again.”

That night was the beginning of series of dating travails. Seven years later, her perseverance resulted in a marriage proposal which would eventually reaffirm her belief that online dating is an ideal way to make a real connection with another person.

As much as many may try to shy away from it, Zimbabwe dating sites like Metrodates, Topface and Interracial dating in Zimbabwe have many profiles of desperate people wishing to find love.

The main concern people have about Internet-based connections is that users may not be who they say they are though there are ways to check if the online dating profile is genuine or not.

In an extreme version, some online daters spend all their time together on the internet, never seeing each other in the real world. Their love is just as likely to bloom despite such limitations. Internationally, there are various couples that met online and went on to solidify their relationships until marriage.

One 27-year-old Craig from Mufakose says he has never met his girlfriend who stays in China but their love is very strong. “The woman I fell for does not even live in the same country as me, I met her on Facebook, so for us to communicate regularly we have used email, Facebook messages and posts, and the wonder of Skype video chats which allow us to talk and laugh and share stories for hours at a time,” he said.

Craig also says even though his lover is miles away from him, he knows her very well. “When we communicate in those video-chat conversations, I delight in how her mind works like a hummingbird. It moves so fast and she speaks so quickly that she often skips a word and has to back-up to correct herself. And the faces she makes when she tells a story make me smile just recalling them,” said Craig.

Sharrel from Chitungwiza says she is on numerous dating sites and she loves it because she gets to personalise the man of her dreams. “It is like online shopping, only that this time, you will be looking for your soul mate. When I put up my profile, I am very specific about the person I am looking for an example, tall, dark and masculine. It really works for me, I have never been disappointed,” said Sharrel.

Julie and John Dabroski recently wed after meeting online

Julie and John Dabroski recently wed after meeting online

The Herald’s sister paper Kwayedza has a section called “Tishamwaridzane” where people write to looking for love. One 60-year-old man who succeeded in finding the woman of his dreams said it is indeed possible to fall in love with a complete stranger. “I always saw the section in Kwayedza and one day I just decided to try it. It took about three weeks before my message was published that by that time I had lost hope. I was surprised when I started receiving phone calls from different women. “It took me a few bad dates till I found my queen. She is 40 and we have already introduced each other to our family,” he said.

On the “Tishamwaridzane” section, there will be feedback from people thanking the paper for helping them find a life partner, proving that this kind of dating is working for some people.

However, it is not for everyone and for many finding true love or just someone fun to hang out is best experienced through an unexpected meeting.

A random meeting by chance that “just happened” rather than any preplanned meeting through a dating website is how most people would ideally like to meet their partner and meeting people online can feel a little too structured.

Some people have gotten in trouble through predators who are using this platform to steal and harm people. The world is advancing technologically and it is now impossible to stop people from online dating rather than educating them on the dangers and safety precautions.

For those that may consider online dating, it is very important that they take caution and not meet strangers for the first time at a secluded place.

Like any other thing, online dating has its highs and lows. On one hand, it is brilliant to be able to just swipe through all your possible dates at your own leisure and convenience, whilst on the other, it may present unexpected dangers.

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