A toast to the Derby @40

Derby caps vs dynamosRobson Sharuko Senior Sports Editor
IF South African film director Jamie Uys was still alive, I would probably have asked him for the rights to do a football version of his smash-hit movie, The Gods Must Be Crazy, centred on the sights and sounds of 40 years of the Harare Derby.

Sadly, the celebrated filmmaker passed away on January 29, 1996, leaving us to enjoy the spoils of his work which peaked with the making of a comedy, which is the story of a San tribesman Xi, who lives in the Kalahari, unaware of the changing world beyond his desert homeland.

The film remains the most commercially successful movie released by the South African film industry, winning global acclaim in more than 45 countries around the world, and dwarfing is sequel, The Gods Must Be Crazy II.

Why borrow a leaf from The Gods Must Be Crazy, you might wonder?

Well, how do the football gods always appear to reserve their best script, for the clubs on the domestic front, for the battle between the capital’s two biggest clubs — Dynamos in the blue corner and CAPS United in the green corner?

How is it possible that, as this flagship football contest celebrates the 40th year of the duels between the two giants, a goal-feast marked the first encounter on March 20, 1977, with five goals being scored in the game, and another goal-harvest marked the last encounter, a year ago, with six goals scored in that match?

How is it possible that, in the first match back in 1977, a CAPS United player, Shacky Tauro, scored a brace, in a losing cause for the Green Machine, and in the last match in October last year, another Makepekepe star, Denis Dauda, also helped himself to a brace in a six-goal thriller at the National Sports Stadium?

How is it possible that, in the first match in 1977, the Glamour Boys scored three goals that afternoon and, in the last match ahead of the 40th anniversary of the Harare Derby, DeMbare also helped themselves to three goals last year?

How is it possible that, in the first match in 1977, there were three different scorers for Dynamos — George Shaya, David George and Kuda Muchemeyi — and in the last match ahead of the 40th anniversary of the Harare Derby, there were also three different scorers for DeMbare — Roderick Mutuma, Tawanda Macheka and Masimba Mambare?

How is it possible that, in the first match in 1977, the star of the show was a diminutive midfielder in the Dynamos colours, the immortal Shaya, who conducted their orchestra the only way that a Mastermind like him could do and in the last match ahead of the 40th anniversary of the Derby, the man-of-the-match was another little DeMbare midfielder Brett Amidu?

Or how do the football gods provide a script where on the afternoon that CAPS United finally found a way to end their lengthy search for a league victory over their biggest rivals at Rufaro last year, it would need someone who had briefly been exposed to the culture of football at DeMbare, Dominic Chungwa, to get the goal that would make all the difference?

Others have argued, even up to this day, that the final touch on that day, for that goal, was made by Archford Gutu, but in the scheme of things, does it matter or — also given the midfielder’s previous links with DeMbare before he crossed the Great Divide to join the Green Machine — it just arms the conspiracy theorists with more ammunition?

Surely, whichever way you look at it, when the Harare Derby comes around, the football gods go crazy. The last time the capital’s football community gathered at the National Sports Stadium to watch the latest edition of the Harare Derby, CAPS United, for a change, were the form team and firmly in control of their destiny in the championship race.

DeMbare, after a flirtation with a Portuguese prankster-disguised-as-a-football-coach, were still battling the hangover from that horrible experiment with their fans now suffering all the mocking that comes with playing second fiddle to the other team in the capital.

But on a sun-drenched afternoon, DeMbare looked everything, but a blue cocktail of chaos and played with both style and conviction, inspired by Amidu, who probably would have developed into the best player on the domestic football scene this year, had his advisers seen the long-term value of his rapid development at the Glamour Boys, than the short-term gains of a fat cheque he got to move to FC Platinum.

Such was Amidu’s influence on the game that afternoon, he made everyone else look ordinary and, for good measure, even Mutuma scored in the Derby, running on to a rebounded effort after the ‘keeper had failed to handle the midfielder’s screamer from distance.

The Glamour Boys could even have been full value for a double before the break, but when Mambare delivered, with an inch-perfect curler made only for such a big occasion, they were fully in control.

When Macheke made it three it looked over and should have been over if this wasn’t the Derby. Somehow, with time having long turned into an enemy of their spirited response, CAPS United found a way to steal the three goals, all of them coming from balls floated into the area, and an incredible 3-3 draw was an embarrassment for the Glamour Boys while their opponents celebrated as if they had won the title.

Of course, they had, because if they had lost that game, their quest for the league title would have crumbled there are then. Now, tomorrow, we are back to the giant stadium for the Harare Derby, a special one, 40 years after the first encounter, and it’s Dynamos who now have a championship to chase and it’s CAPS United playing the role of party spoilers.

It’s unlikely to produce half-a-dozen goals, like the last one, but who am I to say all this, what with that Cameroonian hitman in good form, what with a raging Ocean (Mushure) drowning everything in its path, what with a showman who thrives on this big stage, Denver Mukamba, showing signs of getting back to his best?

As they say, in their blue world, nyika yese irikufara. What with John Zhuwawu turning himself into hot property at CAPS United, what with a Nigerian hitman telling us this is his moment, his time to shine, and the only sad part — when one gets to think about it — is that Ronald Pfumbidzai isn’t around for the Green Machine anymore.

But this is a CAPS United, just like Dynamos, who have survived the loss of some far better players in the past 40 years and found a way to throw a punch that matters — especially when it comes to the Derby.

The football gods, really, must be crazy.

It’s a pity Uys, who died in the year CAPS United came of age and won their first league championship after Independence, is not around to give us the rights to do a football version of his movie.

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