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Surely the gods must be crazy that we have such madness being uttered at a serious policymaking indaba. And it is coming from a party of Excellence or is it not Sexcellence? Even the chicken, dogs, and donkeys in the village would laugh at such a suggestion.
Had the organisers of the HIV Indaba known, they would have sent Femai skinning the goats for their stew, while they deliberated on real issues.

That is exactly where he belonged, not at the Indaba.
The disrespect for women mentality in MDC-T is more pronounced even in the behaviour of the men there from top to bottom or vise versa. What with the Shones, Chimbairas, the Zwambilas and Tsvangirai himself. In the village it would be a misnomer for the daughter of a crab to walk straight on her fronts, when all her parents walk by the side.
It therefore runs in MDC-T, there is hyper excitement about sex and a critical dearth of logic.

What is it with sex and MDC-T? Why is there a preoccupation for the bizarre and the unthinkable?
We in the village are simple enough, and modestly educated, but we are not unreasonable or stupid.
We are not simpletons. So he actually forces his own woman — or women — to shave their hair and dress shabbily so that they don’t attract other men?

And he is quite amenable delving into dirt?
But does he think our civilised women, the fairer sex, will accept that? They won’t.
And does the honourable senator realise that HIV infection is not about how a person looks but what you do between the sheets or even grass or under the trees?

It’s about contact, human contact not the dresses, the hairstyles and bathing.
Unless he is suggesting the end of the natural and necessary game of mating, Femai seems to think women are objects. Femai could tell us how scientifically sound his wild idea is.

Where did he do the tests and how can the theory be replicated? Suddenly Zimbabwe is the talk of the world.
Papers across the world are running away with the story hailing from the most literate country in Africa.
And the tragedy is that some mischievous people have been putting the thumbnail of our smart and intelligent President Mugabe on the story.
What cheek!
What insult!
What bane!

For the record Femai is not the only one from MDC-T to give us wild suggestions regarding HIV and sex.
Someone helpfully broke it down thus:

• Sithembile Mlotshwa, the MDC-T Senator for Matobo, recently suggested that Zimbabweans must be limited to one sexual encounter per month. Men, she said, should be administered a drug that reduces their libido. During a separate debate, she asked the government to provide prisoners with “sex gadgets” to discourage homosexual activity.

• Another MDC-T legislator, Thabitha Khumalo, is also campaigning for the legalisation of prostitution claiming this could help the fight against Aids.

Things like these would make one to start with a very frightened “Hezvo!” Hezvoko! Bwa, Bwa, one time!
I tend to pity the people who elect such representatives and grieve the money taxpayers pay for their participation in Parliament.
How about the foreigners that fund MDC-T with the hope of a better Government? A Government of Sexcellence!

Mari iyi inoenda ichichema.
Money will be crying, literally, on such misuse.
Back in the village, the soothsayer, the autochthon of knowledge and wisdom, predicts that more is yet to come. Once in power, the women of Zimbabwe in particular and the people of Zimbabwe in general must certainly brace for a buffet of silly rules, regulations, policies and laws.

Our women, had climbed out of the Rhodesia mantra where they were denigrated, dehumanised and forced to play second citizenry and 30 years after independence, someone thinks they should go back to Rhodesia. Why take our women back to Rhodesia.
What Femai said is exactly what was happening to our black women in Rhodesia, while the white ladies led in fashion.
Femai must know that we must allow our women to promote their beauty, to dress in competition with women in other countries in the world.
Why should we make our women feel or look inferior to others? This is taking the country back to Rhodesia, where black women were mere instruments of reproduction.

If the women of Zimbabwe are still the same, that this villager has known then Femai must apologise.
It is better to keep Femai and those of his kind goat skinning than participating on matters of state and governance. I chug my coke!